Transforming sorrow into passion with Flower Farmer Liz Fiedler Mergen

Katische Haberfield interviews Liz Fiedler Mergen, a remarried widow, former nurse practitioner, and thriving flower farmer from Minnesota. 

• Liz shares her transformative journey of resilience and reinvention, detailing how she turned a family farm into Sunny Mary Meadow, a successful flower farm and business. 
• The episode touches on topics such as grief, entrepreneurship, and the logistical and emotional challenges faced while balancing a new marriage, raising children, and running multiple businesses. 
• Liz also discusses her plans for expanding her business to include a community-focused event space and shares insights from her forthcoming memoir, 'Flowers Bloom Anyway.'

Chapter Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction to Infinite Life with Katische Haberfield
00:39 Season 13 Kickoff: Multidimensional Insights
01:05 Meet Liz Fiedler Mergen: From Grief to Growth
01:54 The Journey of Sunny Mary Meadow
03:32 Why Flowers? The Economics and Joy of Flower Farming
05:29 Navigating Challenges in Flower Farming
07:17 The Emotional Connection to Flowers
11:33 Personal Stories and Symbolism in Flowers
20:53 Expanding the Flower Farm: New Ventures and Community Engagement
25:39 Balancing Life: Motherhood, Business, and Writing
31:27 Publishing Journey Begins
32:27 Dealing with Grief and Loss
32:57 Navigating Legal and Financial Challenges
34:58 Balancing Work and Family Life
42:20 Entrepreneurial Insights and Business Grow

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Hi, I'm Katische Haberfield MBus(Mtkg), Clinical Hypnotherapist CHt. IPHM.
Host of The Infinite Life with Katische Haberfield podcast.Direct Channeler of Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine Energies.

I help you through my skills as a:

• Direct Channeler of Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine Energies.
• Clinical Hypnotherapist. Cht, IPHM.
• Past Life Regression Therapist
• Soul Obstruction Removal Specialist
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Transcript

0:00

Welcome to the Infinite Life with Katische Haberfield. I'd like to take you on a transformative journey, exploring the mysteries of the soul. I hope you enjoy the regression case studies, mediumship interviews, and fascinating discussions that I've had with guests on the podcast. I hope that these answer some of the questions that you might have about life on this planet, on others, and in other dimensions. Thank you for joining me, and please don't forget to like and subscribe. And most importantly, share with your friends. Namaste.

Katische Haberfield: 0:39

Welcome back to the Infinite Life with Katische Haberfield podcast. I'm your host, Katische Haberfield, and we're in season 13. And as I'm interviewing fascinating, interesting people who bring to this season of the podcast something a little bit more multidimensional in terms of the depth, because usually we do case studies about the experiences that we have as human beings in past lives. But today I brought on Liz, and I'm going to read her profile in a minute. But the reason I've brought on Liz today is because one, I love flowers. Two, she's experienced grief, which I've also experienced, which I'll explain a little bit more. And I have seen through her presence on social media that she has really kept a part of her life from before grief interrupted her trajectory, then also embraced it and helped her navigate through the new situation that she found herself in. So I see it as a transformation that she has had whilst honoring her values, and that's why I wanted to bring in a few different aspects. But before I get into that, I'll read Liz's bio. So Liz Fiedler Mergen is a remarried widow, former nurse practitioner, and now a thriving flower farmer and entrepreneur. She's the owner of Sunny Mary Meadow, a multifaceted flower farm and business in Minnesota. A for all of our international listeners, has built multiple six figure businesses, host the Flower Farmer Forum podcast, and helps others grow successful businesses with her course foundations of pedaling perishable products. Her journey of resilience, growth and reinvention makes her a sort after speaker and mentor in both agriculture and entrepreneurship. And in 2026, she's going be adding author to that list of achievements. So welcome to the podcast, Liz.

Liz Fiedler: 2:39

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Katische Haberfield: 2:41

You're most welcome. What I wanted to do to today was to say, for people who have never heard of you before, you're a far flower farmer,

Liz Fiedler: 2:53

Correct.

Katische Haberfield: 2:54

your story started by buying a family flower farm from Josh's family that's your husband who unfortunately passed away in 2020. Is that right? Have I got that part of the story right?

Liz Fiedler: 3:08

So it, it's mostly right. It was not a flower farm when we bought it. It was a,

Katische Haberfield: 3:14

Okay.

Liz Fiedler: 3:14

It used to be, it's been so many things over the last 130 years. It's been a cattle farm. A horse farm. They used to run a saw mill with lumber. A blacksmith shop. A butcher shop, and we turned it into a flower farm together.

Katische Haberfield: 3:29

Flower Farm. Okay. All of the things that had been on that land, why did you pick flowers? That's really inspiring and I find myself often watching flower videos on YouTube. And I recently sat there and I thought, I'm watching a lady cut flowers on a flower farm. Isn't this interesting?'cause I'm about to interview Liz. Sometimes

Liz Fiedler: 3:50

Yeah,

Katische Haberfield: 3:50

viewing comes back in. Why did you guys choose flowers?

Liz Fiedler: 3:54

so the thing about flowers or fruit or vegetables, they're all considered specialty crops.

Katische Haberfield: 4:02

Okay.

Liz Fiedler: 4:03

traditional crops like corn or soybeans or wheat, they require hundreds of acres of land and a lot of really expensive equipment to be profitable. You can make a very good living off of not that much land when it comes to flowers. And so to be able to get into it we had to buy. 40 acres and an acre is 43,000 square feet. If that makes sense. That's how we divide up land. So in our area that we live in our township by law to keep it agriculture and keep these parcels together, you couldn't just buy a house with a really big yard out in the country and section it off. You had to buy 40 acres and that's a big investment. But it's, you can't make a living off of a traditional crop or something like that. So they classify it as maybe a hobby farm. But I'm able to have support not only my family, but other families of people that work here on. On a very small amount of land. So honestly that's why flowers. But also they're pretty, and they're fun and they make people happy and that's the real answer. But the, it still has to math. How do and we looked at the resources we had available, and flowers just made sense.

Katische Haberfield: 5:29

Okay. Yeah, because there are two thoughts that I had when you said that is, firstly it's a perishable product, and and that's what you've done is you've developed a course about perishable products, but you'd be like, oh, don't be silly. That's just a really good, some people might go, that's a, just a really girly investment. Run a flower What happens

Liz Fiedler: 5:46

Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 5:47

something comes in and wipes your crop out? What if somebody doesn't buy the flowers? What if the wind comes through? But I guess that's an essential thing of all farming, right? Isn't it? But it's also speaks to me in terms of I guess a lot of people think that they have to do something that's hard sensible. A according to develop a package product or do something that always has this solid supermarket kind of But when you follow a passion that says it's flowers, and flowers is what I'm gonna go with, it All the other people out there in the world that go, that's really inspiring. didn't think that you could make money with flowers because it makes me happy. Why do I, how can I possibly make money with some doing something that makes me happy? But you've proven that it can.

Liz Fiedler: 6:43

Yeah, and I would say the business that I've built, and we'll dive deep into more of what it entails, but I think some people. Just look at it, and they're just very confused. They, they don't get how it works. And it just does, and it finding ways to keep offering different things to the same customers over and over again, and it's turned into this community that we built and focusing on the milestones that people buy flowers for. That's really the thing is flowers are a celebration, they're sympathy, they're treat yourself. They're flowers are connected to so many of life's moments that really just building this community of people that need flowers. And you could say flowers are a want. No sometimes you just need some flowers.

Katische Haberfield: 7:39

Yeah, that's right. That's exactly right. And I'm guess. That you have planted varieties that smell amazing. Whereas if you go to the supermarket, I know here, at least in Australia, they look good, but there's no Aroma whatsoever.

Liz Fiedler: 7:53

No, and the thing is how I explain it to my customers, because I don't wanna completely undercut flowers that are imported or grown that way, but the mo, most of the flowers that you see at the super supermarket or with a traditional florist, they're imported in. They're, they've been genetically modified to last a really long time and ship really well, and they probably have some sort of preservative on them or different chemicals and they're flown in. And the flowers that I grow, maybe they can last, maybe they last a week to 10 days, but if you were shipping those they would not last. And so people are able to get flowers that they've never seen, they've never heard of, and they're really embracing the seasonality of it. I meet with, I do a lot of wedding flowers now. We've started adding that and the brides will meet with me and. They'll show me a picture of what they want. And I say, okay, that's great, but those flowers are not in season, but something similar that is, can we substitute that? And they're like, yeah, sure. What whatever. And they trust it. And they're really embracing that seasonality, which is beautiful.

Katische Haberfield: 9:06

Yes, because it is a bit odd if you

Liz Fiedler: 9:08

Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 9:08

tulips 12 months of the year, isn't it really when you think

Liz Fiedler: 9:12

Yeah. Exactly. And that's what makes 'em special. You're not meant to they're not supposed to last forever. And the season is short. They, like strawberries always taste way better in June here in the US and I don't know, what part of Australia are you in?

Katische Haberfield: 9:26

I'm in Queensland, in Brisbane, so we're in

Liz Fiedler: 9:29

Okay.

Katische Haberfield: 9:30

north of the country. We're a tropical, hot, humid kind of

Liz Fiedler: 9:35

Okay.

Katische Haberfield: 9:36

Yeah.

Liz Fiedler: 9:37

So my husband studied abroad. My, I'm remarried now. He studied abroad in per, in Perth,

Katische Haberfield: 9:42

Okay.

Liz Fiedler: 9:43

Western Australia. Yes. Opposite side of the country.

Katische Haberfield: 9:46

yeah, so

Liz Fiedler: 9:46

Yep.

Katische Haberfield: 9:47

you went from Perth to Brisbane and take your eight hours on a plane.

Liz Fiedler: 9:50

Yep.

Katische Haberfield: 9:51

Yeah.

Liz Fiedler: 9:52

Yep. Which is why whenever he wants to go there, that's where he wants to go, and it adds an extra eight hours on top of everything. He's been there like five times,

Katische Haberfield: 10:01

okay. Yeah,

Liz Fiedler: 10:02

yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 10:03

Perth is really

Liz Fiedler: 10:04

Yes.

Katische Haberfield: 10:05

Brisbane in that, Brisbane is a river city and River city as well. And

Liz Fiedler: 10:08

Yep.

Katische Haberfield: 10:09

have great beaches within an hour's drive. And Perth also has great beaches, but Perth is cooler than Brisbane.

Liz Fiedler: 10:17

Oh.

Katische Haberfield: 10:18

yeah, with the flowers that you chose to grow. And you mentioned that the people get unexpected varieties. Have you been planting natives? Like how did you decide to introduce people to different sorts of flowers than what they're expected?

Liz Fiedler: 11:04

So I do plant quite a few natives around the edge and the perimeter of our property. But with cut flowers, what I grow, sometimes people come here and they expect it to just be these lush, beautiful gardens all the time. And the thing is, the majority of these flowers, if they're blooming in my garden, in my field, it's not really a garden. It's fields. If they're blooming and looking pretty, they're not making me any money. They make money when they're in a vase. And so a lot of 'em we cut before they even fully open. And so I have incorporated a lot of natives, but a lot of those don't they don't last a long time in a vase. They're not meant for good vase life. And so it's, teaching people like people say, I want this in my wedding bouquet. I am like it's not gonna, unless you come that morning and like that, those aren't gonna work, but we can find something similar or whatever.

Katische Haberfield: 12:02

Yeah for me, just to show you how I, how naive I was like I just want roses. And, but, and then I showed my mom a picture. I said, oh, I don't, I, I don't wanna deal with that. You organize it. And I chose the big David Austin roses and Da, and and then Yeah, that's not gonna last. Yeah.

Liz Fiedler: 12:20

yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 12:21

They're gonna wilt before you even get down the aisle.

Liz Fiedler: 12:25

Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 12:25

so just curious you've been married twice. What were the flowers in your two sets of bouquets? What did you

Liz Fiedler: 12:32

So my first wedding was in 2014 and I had white roses and some pink, a still a lot of blush, so it was white and pink and blush, and I love pink. That's always been my favorite color. And I had what's called saria. But it's it's kinda like a Peruvian lily, kinda like a tiger lily looking flower. I had those on all of the tables. We were on a pretty strict budget, I think. So we had those on all of the tables. And then, yeah, my bouquet was beautiful. And then my bridesmaids, they actually had wrist corsages instead of carrying up a bouquet. So something just a little bit different, a little bit fun. And then for my wedding with Brent, it we're coming up on our one year anniversary. We actually just eloped on a Monday. It was like, we've been living together. I have these two kids. It's just time. Let's get on our, like honestly, it was more logistics thing. And we're coming up on a year and we still haven't planned a party or anything and I just don't think we're going to,

Katische Haberfield: 13:37

Yeah.

Liz Fiedler: 13:37

so I messaged one of my friends that's a phenomenal florist, and I was actually speaking, I was giving a presentation on cut flowers at her. At her meeting, and she's this, she does a lot of cultural weddings about an hour away from us, and so she put together my bouquet and it had so many, like ulus, and then I brought her some of my two loops that were blooming, but it was April, so barely any of my own flowers were blooming. Like I got married out of season before my season just to check it off the list. But yeah I have big plans for some sort of party down the road, but yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 14:15

Yep. No worries. Cool. I was just

Liz Fiedler: 14:17

Yeah. Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 14:19

the, what's it called? There's this book, I think it's called The Secret Flowers of Alice Hart. I don't know if

Liz Fiedler: 14:25

Okay.

Katische Haberfield: 14:27

And so she, it's quite don't read it. If you want a nice read. It's a horrendous book. It's a really book about trauma, but it's a girl who grows up on a fly on a a flower farm. And so the, a lot of the book teaches you about the symbolism behind the flowers or on her mother's flower farm and what it means and what it smells like and that sort of stuff. Part of me that thought, oh, I wonder if Liz originally chose things because of symbolic meanings or.

Liz Fiedler: 15:01

I had, within my bouquet, I had my late husband's wedding ring tied into it. And then it's just funny. Like I, for my own wedding, my own flowers, it's have you ever heard the fable? The cobbler sun is the last to have shoes whatever. And so it's even with my own flowers, like we just wanna be married and just but when I meet with brides, I ask them, your wedding bouquet is going to be in every single photo. When you look back, that bouquet is in every photo. And if you don't. Love it. You're not gonna love your flower or you're not gonna love your photos. It's it's gonna be reminded. And so what emotions do you wanna evoke? Do you want joy? Do you want people to just walk in and feel lighter? Do you want elegance? Do you want romance and flowers? Flowers really can do that. You walk in and it's it's it really does change around the vibe. And it can be the same exact flowers arranged differently and it can be a total different style. And that's what sometimes people don't understand and the cost and whatever. And that's then they're not my client, they're not my customer. And that's okay. And that's okay. But being able to really find that fit.

Katische Haberfield: 16:21

I know this isn't a UK bet example, but say for example, the late queen, she always had very special symbolic choices in every bouquet that she held. So I think that lots of people can just say, oh, that looks pretty. But it's not until somebody points it out and says, look, this, she chose this for this reason, and it symbolizes this as well. And the other thing that I guess when my father died I remember thinking that my mother would just spray the coffin with red roses. Didn't. She put protease on. protease are a South African flower As I

Liz Fiedler: 17:01

Yep.

Katische Haberfield: 17:02

But my

Liz Fiedler: 17:02

Yep.

Katische Haberfield: 17:02

and dad grew them in their garden.

Liz Fiedler: 17:05

Okay.

Katische Haberfield: 17:06

The symbol, so that was dad's favorite flower. But also for me, it was hard to look at that coffin because, he was supposed to go on his retirement trip to South Africa with my mom and the neighbors and his brother, when he got diagnosed with stage four prostate cancer. And he was diagnosed the week that he was supposed to fly out on his retirement holiday, and he died eight months later. So

Liz Fiedler: 17:33

Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 17:34

whilst I why she chose that flower, for Like, really bittersweet to look at those flowers.'cause it was like, oh

Liz Fiedler: 17:45

Yeah, and I, so Josh died in December and it was after that first year of having the flower farm, having the farm stand we had our careers. This was never gonna be like this full-time thing. And then he died that December, which I live in North Central United States, Minnesota. It is. Cold here. And so in the wintertime, and it's not too hot in the summer either. It's pretty mild actually. It gets pretty hot in the summer too, but we have a lot of extremes. But his flowers on his casket, I wanted, I said, I want it to look like summer in Minnesota. I want flowers. So snapdragons bells of Ireland, hydrangeas lilies riz flowers that can be grown in Minnesota in the summertime. And it was, she did an excellent job on his casket spray. But it was, oh, it was I still can't bring myself to look at photos of it. And none of those flowers, none of those flowers make me sad or think about them, but I just don't wanna see a picture of it.

Katische Haberfield: 18:53

no, I can understand that. And to be honest with you when my father died, the only way that I could cope with the funeral 'cause I was a photographer at the time, was to take photos of the funeral so Had the. The camera in front of me. So in a way, it delayed the grief a bit because I was looking through a lens rather than being present. But I needed, for some known reason, I needed to document it for myself. And then I I have them on a file somewhere. I don't look at them, but I can understand How you just, you can't look at that sort of stuff. Sometimes it, it's too raw. And I remember when my grandfather died, I did the same thing. I took photos. For me, what was really symbolic when he died was that as the casket was lowered into the ground, we all threw in photos of And springs of rosemary. And that was Rosemary for remembrance. And I, I remember thinking, 'cause my mom, my auntie's name was Rosemary, who organized the funeral. I remember thinking at the time, oh, that's lovely. It's like Rosemary for remembrance. Rosemary.'cause Rosemary's the one organizing the, flowers, and the whole funeral. So it's, yeah, it is, it's all these different little touches that people can realize that they can if they're coming in to somebody like you, they can customize things and make it more than just, oh, here's a bunch of flowers. Do you know what I mean? And You can explain to people why it's significant to you or why you It can be a lot more personalized, I believe, than people understand. I guess I'm wondering how potent it smells at your flower foam. I

Liz Fiedler: 20:32

It,

Katische Haberfield: 20:33

on an orange orchid orchard, and so when the fla oranges were flowering, it was like almost overpowering.

Liz Fiedler: 20:40

There are certain flowers that are way more fragrant. During that week or two, especially the peonies, I say peonies, other people say peonies or whatever. Lilacs, they have a very strong specific smell, but honestly it's just so fresh. Everything is just so fresh. And we do have a pretty big grass meadow, and it just, it's all just, it's very clean smelling. I don't know. I love it. I love it.

Katische Haberfield: 21:06

Yeah. Beautiful. And here in Australia for example, there's a lavender farm that I've been dying to go to, but I can never go there when it's in season. And now they've turned it them into more of a wedding venue.'cause everyone wants photos with the, lavender is in bloom. Have you on your farm, gone into the hospitality side of the business?

Liz Fiedler: 21:29

I am right now Actually within the next month for sure. Hopefully sooner. Hopefully in two or three weeks we will be breaking ground on a new space. And I'm actually calling it an everything but weddings venue.

Katische Haberfield: 21:44

Okay.

Liz Fiedler: 21:45

Because my business model during peak season, which is probably mid May two, late November, I want to do not necessarily a certain number of weddings, but a certain dollar amount of weddings. And it's, so if it's two bigger ones or. Five smaller ones or whatever it ends up being, if I know, okay, that's the total dollar amount we want to do each weekend, and that's what we can handle roughly. So I want to be friends with all of the places where people get married at, because I want to do the flowers for multiple weddings. And so I don't wanna be their competitor even though oh, there's room. But it's, that's a, that's still a real thing. If they know that I'm a venue, they're gonna be like, oh, don't get your flowers from her. Or it just it can turn into whatever. And so my space is for the, we do showers with a wedding shower, a baby shower, a retirement party. It's getting to be more and more people wanna have like a celebration of life rather than a funeral at and so they want somewhere for people to go eat afterwards. And maybe it's 400 people, but maybe it's only, maybe it's only a hundred people, or 75 people or 50 people that just want a space to get together. And so we are building an event space that. Technically they say you can cram 160 people in there, but that's like the square footage really. It's comfortable tables and chairs for about a hundred. But I can do my own flower workshops, classes, stuff like that. And then when I meet with the brides, I can say, what are you doing in your shower? Where are you having at? And then we can we have a lot of big plans to host like a monthly brunch in the meadow and then have a, local chef that's trying to get started. It's really cool within, there's a lot of young entrepreneurs in our area. It's really a booming area. There's a lot of tourism and so actually they're just building a new space that's a commercial kitchen. So if you don't have so different chefs can rent to that space to cook the food in and then cater it. So I'm actually in the process of reaching out to them to say, Hey. Do any of these chefs want to host a brunch at my farm, or like just a lot of opportunities for that. So yes, we're definitely, I've already had picnic tables outside. People can pick flowers once in a while, but I don't have the greatest bathrooms. Sometimes it's hot, sometimes it's rainy. I don't have a place for hosting something like that, and now I will. So I'm excited.

Katische Haberfield: 24:18

Perfect. Because that was gonna be my question, but you've answered that, which was, are you building a commercial kitchen in there or are you gonna get the cooks to bring the stuff in and the catering to Into it?

Liz Fiedler: 24:28

So I have it plumbed and everything that a commercial kitchen can be added on later, But it's probably another a hundred thousand dollars with the special hood and all those things. So we just have, we're calling it a serving kitchen. I was calling it a prep kitchen. And I'm like, no, I don't want prep. I don't want Make it before you come. This is not prep, this is serving. But I will allow people to bring their own food. If they're hosting a party they gotta clean up. They gotta but that'll help keep, the cost down too. If they're renting it. And in Minnesota we definitely are, we call them potlucks everybody brings something or so they would say, okay, we'll have it's not uncommon for a bride to have six aunts and the groom has six aunts and okay, you 12 bring something and that's the food for the shower. And so people wanna do that and it definitely cuts down on the cost. And but then they have a really nice space to do it at and have the party. So it's not in mom's living room or garage or church basement or something. So

Katische Haberfield: 25:36

yeah,

Liz Fiedler: 25:36

what I'm excited about. We are, hopefully it'll be done in about s. By the time we really start building it I think it's only gonna take about three months. It's not fancy. It's, a shed. That's, it's nice, but it's not complicated. It's not it's stained concrete floors. It's not this big elaborate, it's not like it's a brand new house or anything with tons of tons of finishes. And then it's gonna have a pretty big walk-in cooler and space for a farm store. So now I can just, we'll just have way more room to work.

Katische Haberfield: 26:07

Yeah. Yeah. And so you have two small daughters, right? How old are they?

Liz Fiedler: 26:14

So Vidalia is seven and Davy is three and a half.

Katische Haberfield: 26:18

Okay. And how on earth do you manage to be a mother, manage the seasonality of flowers, all these different events where you wanna involve people in? You're just doing a new venture and you've got a book that you're launching next year.

Liz Fiedler: 26:36

Yes.

Katische Haberfield: 26:37

does somebody navigate that? you've just got married so you've had a new romance throw in there

Liz Fiedler: 26:46

yeah, so I've always been very good at juggling. I'm not gonna say multitasking, I'm not gonna say but I've always been really good at juggling and I've always had, I'm gonna say it's a skill, it's a talent. And also maybe I was just born with it a little bit of being able to. Prioritize and so I can say, okay what's the next thing that's going to be done? So I also, I still work one day a week as a nurse practitioner, seeing patients. I haven't fully given that up yet. So that's on Wednesdays. So I know that's Wednesday. And then I, Tuesdays and Thursdays, tonight's an exception because your calendar, not mine, but my calendar, Tuesdays and Thursdays are when I have availability for meeting with brides, interviewing podcast guests. I do the coaching. I coach other flower farmers. Sometimes they'll pay for a consultant or consultation or an extra, I need help with this. I'm, I've got this problem I'm struggling with, can I meet with you? And those are on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Like I don't just wide open schedule. It's Nope, here's my calendar link. And it's only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If it doesn't work, fine. But at least for the most part. And then Monday I've got my list of things that I go through and. Each project has its own little to-do list. I love, I have an app that I use called Motion that's got just different projects within it. And it's an AI calendar where you have different projects and then you set the priority for it.

Katische Haberfield: 28:18

Okay.

Liz Fiedler: 28:18

This is, and you make a due date and it'll just, and you estimate how long something should take and then it'll just fill in your calendar for you. But so my book that's coming out, I actually, I was a week late on my deadline, but I knew that she was giving me grace. So I do really well with deadlines because if you give someone a month to do something, it's gonna take them a month. If you give them a week, it's gonna give them, it's gonna take a week. So I knew that the deadline wasn't that hard, it wasn't that strict. My book now that it's. I handed 232 pages to my editor, which that's way too long. I wanted about one 70. But it's called Flowers Bloom. Anyway, and it's a memoir of how I built all this through grief and because of grief and Of that type of thing. But I I've been really trying to just get that done because now I know I will not hear from my editor for a month. She's gonna go through and call, we already created an outline, and then now she's got all of these mismatch of pages and whatever. And until I hear from her she might call me here and there during there, but at least that part's done. So now I just, I'm not even thinking about the book yet. And pretty soon I've been interviewing PR agencies for promoting the book and I've been doing that, but it's okay, I gotta choose one soon and then hire them, and then let them do their thing. Like you just, yeah, just make a decision and then get it off your plate.

Katische Haberfield: 30:29

Okay. Yeah. Did you find a publisher or did you decide to self-publish?

Liz Fiedler: 30:35

So I self-published a children's book in 2021,

Katische Haberfield: 30:38

Okay.

Liz Fiedler: 30:39

I did, it's called Flo or When Flowers Bloom. And this publisher is actually gonna republish that one as well. So that's gonna come out again. But I decided that I was going to try really hard to get a traditional publishing model but I do get to keep my intellectual property rights. So that that was the most important thing to me. But my hope for this story, it was, I was writing it as self-help it started out as a memoir of early, young widowhood, that's what it was. And. It's really angry and but I was like, people need to know, people need to know what this is like so they can treat me better so they can treat other people better and it's gonna help people. And that was, that's what I thought I wanted to write. And then after a while it was like I don't think I wanna publish that. I got friends, I don't I don't wanna publish that. So then how, what do I, but what do I do with this? So then I tried to turn it into self-help because I thought who's gonna care about my story? Eh let's face it I'm locally a semi known business owner. I've got a local following, but in the category of memoir who's gonna care? The self-help just did not feel right. It just, it I don't wanna be talking about tips for getting over grief or how I got through it. I just, I wanna talk about my flowers and so it's back to a memoir, but it's more the story of the farm and the story behind it. And it's just funny because once I announced that I'm building this new space more people are starting to pay attention. And and I've got a very good local following. I've got thousands of people on my email list and a good open rate and a good I've sold every stem I've ever grown ever on my farm. And it's we just started adding weddings and it's doing well, but the book, yeah, so I'm, working with, it's a publishing company called Morgan James Publishing, and I met them actually at Pod Fest, which is a podcasting conference. And they were the presenting sponsor for the author track. So there's author, creator. Editor, video, whatever type of track, and you can sit in on those topics or panels. And so they were sponsoring the author track, and I just sat down and talked the ear off of some a stranger. And they're like what's your story? I'm like how much time you got? And I told 'em about finding out I was pregnant at the funeral and leaving my job and building this business and all of these things. And I'm like, and then I have this book, but right now it's self-help. And I don't know. And he's you're not leaving here without a contract from us. I'm like, oh, okay. So I did. And that was awesome.

Katische Haberfield: 33:36

Wow. Wow. And I can relate to what you're saying about feeling angry because for the three years after my dad died, I had to write and I wrote what I thought was gonna be a memoir. Because I was so angry at how long it took to make my dad officially dead. Do you know what I mean? Like the paperwork

Liz Fiedler: 33:58

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How long? Yes. I love, I shouldn't say, I love how you worded that, but Yeah. How long it, you can't die until the paperwork's filed.

Katische Haberfield: 34:07

Yep. And just the banks and the letters that kept coming and each time you open something that's got your father's name on or your husband, if it's my mother for example, it You apart again. I can even remember the day the, death certificate arrived in the mail and I just literally howled and fell over. So it, and my father was a he, was in the finance industry and he helped people plan their estates and their finances and. He would've died thinking I've left this a hundred percent Mikko,

Liz Fiedler: 34:46

Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 34:47

it still was a chaos for Year Mother.

Liz Fiedler: 34:51

that's exactly it. Like I probably had. Compared to most people. We were pretty organized. My, my late husband we had, we didn't have a will, but we were married and young and we were on, I was on everything. There was nothing that I couldn't get access to. We co-owned everything to together. I was on the bank accounts with him. I was but I wasn't on the, some of the utility companies were just him, so I needed a death certificate or a marriage certificate, all those things. And he actually, he was very you think I'm organized and driven and all these things. He was vice president of basically a bank and in charge of a bunch of loan officers. So he was so organized and he, there's a book called Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy. Have you ever heard of it?

Katische Haberfield: 35:42

Yep.

Liz Fiedler: 35:43

So he, for 15 years, had a frog list. In his phone today, this week, this month. And so I was able to literally go into his phone and find that list. And it was things like cash, this check from, 'cause we rent out some of the land to a local farmer and just things like that. He left me a to-do list of what to do and it still was so much.

Katische Haberfield: 36:08

Yeah. And I just wanna put this in because my podcast followers have followed me for, this is nearly our fourth year now. And so the, my story has interweaved throughout all the episodes. And so one of the things that I found was quite horrible or horrific that I don't think I don't know if it's like this in America, but for example, my mom was on everything as well, but the minute that she sent out the first death certificate. All her assets were frozen, and I remember running with her as we realized that she had one account left and we needed to withdraw some cash out of it before they closed. We had this premonition, like we had an hour, and I just ran to, to get her to a tele machine. She pulled out 500 bucks I think it was, and then everything

Liz Fiedler: 36:58

Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 36:58

Then she was locked out of everything.

Liz Fiedler: 37:01

Yeah, I think so. In the United States, that can be considered, they call it probate sometimes. And ours did not just because again, I was on we had a joint checking account and so it, I was able to still access it. But yeah. Anything else? Like I had to wait until I had a death certificate and it took us four months. Four months to get the death certificate.

Katische Haberfield: 37:24

yeah.

Liz Fiedler: 37:25

'cause it was during Covid and he died of a heart attack, unwitnessed. So we found him on the floor dead for hours at the foot of the treadmill. So we're like, he was running, but did he slip and hit his head? How did he die? We thought a heart attack 'cause how else? But we didn't know. And that was a terrible four months

Katische Haberfield: 37:48

Yeah, I

Liz Fiedler: 37:48

not knowing.

Katische Haberfield: 37:50

I can imagine. I actually have a very good friend of mine

Liz Fiedler: 37:53

Sorry, I keep coughing.

Katische Haberfield: 37:54

her husband died exactly the same way, actually. was running on the treadmill and had a heart I've had a friend who's just turned 50 and he had a heart attack last week. It's This whole thing of, oh no, heart attacks happen to people in their seventies,

Liz Fiedler: 38:13

Nope.

Katische Haberfield: 38:13

Nope,

Liz Fiedler: 38:14

Yeah. And it just arrhythmia skip a beat and it's rare, but it happens and you just, I don't know.

Katische Haberfield: 38:23

Yeah. What I did for that time, that three years was I wrote out basically. This whole thing about all the things that I was angry about. The process of knowing when somebody's diagnosed with a terminal illness what you have to do. And then I did this whole big appendix and all the things you need to know about how to make a person dead. But then I got to the same point as you and I was like, I don't wanna be talking about grief for the rest of my life. I I, don't want to. And I talked to a publisher and in the end my family was just very much don't talk about us.

Liz Fiedler: 38:59

Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 38:59

really upset, but I also realized it wasn't the right time for them. Now I look, I still have the manuscript and I look about back at it and it's I'm not that same person anymore. I can see why I was angry about it. But there are people out there. Who they become grief counselors, they run grief programs. That's their jam. They came here in essence, to help people with grief. Here to help people with grief. That was a part of my journey, and it's not the future. I don't wanna be surrounded by that energy forever. So yeah, I was just trying to show you that Yeah, I understand what you mean by, you can start a memoir and then go, yeah, this is not what I want.

Liz Fiedler: 39:43

And what's so beautiful about what it's evolved into now is it's not the story about he die, how he died. That's in there, but I don't talk about other people a whole lot because I don't want to, and they don't want to they everyone's Ugh. And I'm like, any we're changing a lot of details and I'm gonna be very open about that. You guys, some of the details have been changed so that nobody like we, we can, or we turn something into a hypothetical story. I heard of a widow who this happened. Just, I don't wanna talk about other people. There's certain details. One of my best friends was actually his primary doctor. And she was my mentor. My office was across this hall from her and he had a physical, a preventative care exam the day before And with her and my daughter had a well child check, and she's my mentor and she's and it's did she miss anything? Did, was something missed? Was he sick? It's no, he wasn't sick. It was a preventative exam. His cholesterol was beautiful, his lab was beautiful. She listened to his heart. It was no, there was no a KG, but why would you like, why would you? And so I've talked to her about it and she's okay with me putting that in the book. But I explained to her that if it was hard on me, I wouldn't put it in the book. But I'm like, I wanna put it in there.'cause I wanna show that so many people assume that I will get mad or that I'm mad about that. He had a physical, they must have. I said, but honestly, that's one of the things that brings me so much comfort is she is phenomenal. She taught me, I know everything. She knows. I've been in examine rooms with her for two years I shadowed her when I was her student. Like I know she didn't miss anything. And I, it gives me a lot of peace to know that it was a fluke deal. Like he just, he was healthy and I know that. And so that's why, so for example, when you say other people don't want, and I'm like, I'm painting you in a really good light is it okay? And she's change my name at least.'cause she doesn't want patients googling her, and I'm like, yes, absolutely. We'll change your name. But it's still just things. And so anytime anybody you need their permission. You can't just write about someone else. And so that's part of the process that we're going through. But really it's just why I decided to make the choices I've made with the business. And how the, how the works well for me with the girls. So they are in first grade and then Davy goes to daycare. A lot of people are surprised. They're like, but you work from home. I'm like, I'm. I'm busy. Like I, I'm like, and if she was here with me instead of eight hours of solid getting stuff done, I'd get maybe four hours of stuff done. I, yeah, she could be here, but then I'd be like like right now as we're recording this, they're upstairs watching a movie, like they're on the iPads which is I'm fine with, and I don't feel bad about it. And but not all day, every day. And I knew that, and I'm like, okay, when mom gets off the phone or when mom's done, you guys gotta go to bed, but you can stay up and watch a movie. But it's knowing this balance and knowing that the time that I do spend with them. Is quality and I pick them up mid-afternoon and I'm not working in the evenings 'cause I can get that work done during the day. And just knowing that this business that I'm building my, my oldest, she's gonna be home with us this summer. She's gonna be, we've got a couple employees that are teachers and she's actually helpful and she's gonna be helping on the farm and she'll have fun and it'll be good.

Katische Haberfield: 43:20

Yeah. Fabulous. I've just lost my train of thought, but oh, that's what I was gonna say. So you have a doctorate, you're a nurse practitioner, What I have noticed from listening to you talk over the last 45 minutes is you would assume that your doctorate is in marketing or business management or something like that. Like you're a razor sharp business person.

Liz Fiedler: 43:48

I, I picked the wrong major. I dunno what else to say. I went into nursing, I went into healthcare. I love business. I love it. I love tweaking. I love stepping back and looking at, Hey, why don't we change this? Why don't we do that? Or why, what do people want? Or even I'm one class away from having my MBA in business administration in healthcare, I really thought that was because I with my doctorate degree, you take so many leadership, health policy, health, finance, health, and tho those courses really did help me. And I was on a lot of committees and before Josh died, I think I was definitely on a leadership track to take some sort of leadership role within the organization with the doctorate degree. But things changed and I just, I love being able to set my own schedule. I love being able to just figure out. Where the money's gonna come from. Sometimes I don't even know it's you know how much you need every month and it's like, all right, so this month we're gonna really focus on the podcast and getting sponsors and more people and some of these courses. And what are people asking for? What do they need help on? Okay, that's what we're gonna do this month, and then the next month it's all right, we've got so many weddings that month. And then it's okay, what, there's a gap this month and now I'm getting paid more as a speaker and things like that. And and honestly, there's months where I'm like, I'm gonna go pick up at urgent care as a nurse practitioner and just see people and swab 'em for strep throat and sinus infections and pink eye all day. And you just, as an entrepreneur, you just figure it out. And then, but I would say my favorite part of that is if okay, you need to make an average of this month or this much, or whatever. If I'm exceeding that. I try to keep going a little bit to save up for a rainy day. But then it's but then rest, it's okay to rest. You can't, that's probably the thing that I've definitely the last year, or with building this new building and that's what it's gonna allow me to do, is hire help because, so there is a, there's a book that I love, I just keep talking about books, but it's called 10 X is Easier Than Two X.

Katische Haberfield: 46:15

Okay.

Liz Fiedler: 46:15

it's so true. It's so true. It's just it really is because you're able to, I. I don't do my own bookwork anymore. I send my bank statements and all of those things to an accountant who just goes through every single expense, every single income every month, makes sure the taxes are paid does the payroll, all of that. I don't have to do that anymore and I'd take 30 minutes to send that to her, and she does it. And it used to take me 10 hours and I've started hiring out bits and pieces of the social media or of the email marketing I just paid someone. I know how to do it. I know how to make it. If someone fills out a form on an email server on your website asking about wedding flowers to make automations of. Hi, let's schedule and if they don't open it three days later, send another one. I just paid someone to do that like last month, and I'm like, that would've taken me, I would've been angry. It would've taken me weeks and I would've wanted to throw my computer'cause that's not where my talents are. And instead I was able to do things that brought in revenue. And so the more you grow it, it really is it's easier. And I know that sounds so weird, but it's like I can hire, I can, you can afford to hire out the parts that you don't want to do or it's not even that you don't want to do. It's where you most valued at. And I definitely, I take a lot of accountability for, this is also a farm and I cannot just delegate the pulling of the weeds. Like I have to show them like, alright guys, I'm gonna help you guys for an hour. I can't help you all day, but I'm gonna help you for an hour. Like I am, I'm not above this. I just, there's other stuff I have to be doing. And they don't question it. They love working here. It's some teachers that have the summertime off. But yeah, I just I, love owning my own business and growing it and just, I don't know.

Katische Haberfield: 48:14

Yeah. No, that's cool. It's cool. And I noticed that on, your Flower Forum podcast, you do have a back to better book club section where you have different episodes where people Join you and read the books that you are suggesting

Liz Fiedler: 48:31

Yes. It's all, I love self-help. I love self-help. I love to just people, how did you learn this? How did you, I'm like, do you know how much information you can get if you just pick up a book like someone else's lifelong? Summary of what they know about a topic. And I just, that's what I love about self-help. Like I,

Katische Haberfield: 48:53

Yeah, I'm an avid re avid reader as well. I do have one personal question

Liz Fiedler: 49:00

Yes.

Katische Haberfield: 49:01

to, I wanna respect your time, but I would

Liz Fiedler: 49:03

Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 49:03

up, 'cause this is my curiosity and a lot of people

Liz Fiedler: 49:06

Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 49:06

the podcast. So I've been by myself as a single mom, through a divorce, not a death. My kids were two and a half and four and a half, and they're now 18 and 16. So a long

Liz Fiedler: 49:20

Long time.

Katische Haberfield: 49:21

Yep. So tell me, you had to struggle with a husband passing and you found a new husband two,

Liz Fiedler: 49:30

Yes.

Katische Haberfield: 49:31

of time. How the heck did you do that?

Liz Fiedler: 49:34

Okay. Okay. This is what I'm gonna say. This is what I'm gonna say. I. Did not seek to start, like to say, oh, you started dating again. I'm like, that makes it seem like I agreed to go out to supper and get to know someone. That is not what happened. What happened was he was a friend of my husband's, and so he was just around a lot and a lot of people helped me equal amounts. I, I have this property with these buildings and it snows and there's tractors and I found out I was pregnant the day after the funeral. And we've got old trees and there was one blocking my driveway and I needed someone to bring a chainsaw over. It's just things like that constantly. And I have a big lawn to mow and I have a three-year-old who's gonna watch my kid while I mow the lawn? She can only sit on my lap for so long, plus I'm pregnant. What? And he was one that helped out a lot. And I can say this, that when Josh died, he started dating Brent, my husband started dating someone. And so he had a girlfriend and they were like newly dating. And so honestly I feel like that piece of it, if he was single, I would've never let him help me. And I know that sounds so weird, but there was no attraction. It was just like, that's just Brent. And so it was like, he was the same as any of my married friends or it was like, sure. And so he was just around a lot and it just kept turning into this huh. He's fine, and I remember when he told me that they broke up, and I was like, and I'm pregnant at that point, and I'm like, why? And he's I don't know that's who I wanna be spending my time with. And that's all he said. And I was just like I don't whatever, like, why are you telling me this? I don't care. Whatever. And I went and told my therapist about it and she's oh you don't care. And she goes, do you know how much you've talked about Brent in the last, and I'm like no, I haven't. And she was actually very I laugh. I was just reading the chapter in my book and she said, she's do you think he's just the solution to your problems? Is that why? And I was like no. And it was just, it was this like whatever. And then and then it was we were just friends and then Davy was born and was able to finally like breathe and it was just, Brent was still just around a lot. And I remember my mom, I. I remember telling my mom, and she's okay, so Brent he's mowing your lawn. He's here, he's dropping off ice cream for the girl for Vidalia and whatever. And I was like, mom, I, yeah, he's a wonderful person, but I can't be selfish. This is about my kids and I have to do what's best for them. It doesn't matter. I don't get to, I think I said I don't get to be happy. I I just, this is how it is. And she's what if he's what's best for them? And it was around that time that he was he's like, all right, the, you know how I feel like this is but if you're not ready, you're not ready, but whatever. And I told him, I said, all right I'm not I don't have time to date. We're either, we've known each other forever. And so he moved in yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 53:21

Wow.

Liz Fiedler: 53:22

Yeah. So it just and that's what there actually, there's a something about when you give really bad advice or something like that. Like not to be a red flag or not to be whatever. And so that's my thing. Not to be whatever the minute we actually like, started dating, he moved in. Because I was like, I'm like I don't have time to go see you and bring the kids and suitcase and toothbrush and your stuff might like, no. We'll just either do this or whatever. And then yeah. It definitely, it just, I don't know it, he I, can't, if there's a manual for dating a widow, there's definitely not. But he wrote it like, he's so respectful of everything. Oh, my daughter's coming in. Oh, iPad's dead. I'll be upstairs in a minute. Okay. I'll charge it. Okay. I'll be right upstairs.

Katische Haberfield: 54:19

Oh, she's so cute.

Liz Fiedler: 54:21

iPad's dead. Mom, can you charge it? Yeah. But I will reme, I do remember the first time that his parents met my daughter, Davy. And it's just like your son is dating a widow and it's just this, right? It's weird. And his dad looks at me and he goes, does she look like Josh and my, Yep, my hus, my husband, her dad. And you could tell, so Brent's sister was there and her husband and his mom and you, they were like, oh God. Like he, he brought up her dad and they're looking at Brent and I just, I started crying and I was like, thank you for asking that. Like that means so much to me that. That you are not pretending like Josh didn't exist. You are not pretending like this is Brent's kid. You are not pretending like this is normal and this is happy. Because I think that was the hardest part of my grief. Truly. I am, I'm so thankful, obviously, that I have Davy, but people acted I was like oh, it's fine.'cause she found out she was pregnant, so now she's happy. Go oh good. It has a happy ending. And it's

Katische Haberfield: 55:41

No.

Liz Fiedler: 55:42

No and especially and I was like, this whole I'm glad that I had eight and a half months until she was born to, to prepare for for her birth. But I felt so relieved when she was born. But also the grief just came back new because it was really hitting, all I was doing was focusing on the pregnancy and then it just came back. But yeah, so I definitely, I wouldn't say I dated again, I wouldn't say I but it just, and then at that point but it's so hard to go from married, committed joint decisions and when you're married, there is no me e everything's, we, even though it's just, you have to like, that's, you have to do what's best for you as a couple and as a relationship and to go back to oh, I should ask him. But I don't know if I don't wanna make plans for that long. I don't know, maybe we'll still be dating. I don't just whatever. Or buying something together or going on a trip, or who's paying for this or how do we just all those little weird nuances of dating that, having gone from a loving, committed marriage to that, no, that is not okay. Can I be done in two minutes? She's handing me this juice. Can we have this? No, you cannot. It's bedtime. I'll be up there in a minute. You can ask vie to look at my phone. Okay. But no, no sugar at bed. Okay. Okay. I'll meet you upstairs. Hooray. She says, I'm gonna just shut this. Yes honey. Nope. No. Asked you. Thank you. I know, honey. Okay. Bye. Can help you. Okay. All right. Don't come back in. I'll be right back. See, that's what I mean. You just, I hope you're gonna edit this out or not. I don't know.

Katische Haberfield: 57:56

I'll leave it

Liz Fiedler: 57:57

Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 57:57

life,

Liz Fiedler: 57:58

Perfect. It's life. That's life. Yeah. She's trying to convince me to drink that. No, she's a good rule follower. When I handed her, there's this weird show on YouTube that I'm like I don't want you watching that, even though it's on YouTube kids. And she's can't watch that. No. You can't, you haven't watched that in six months. But anyway. Yeah.

Katische Haberfield: 58:18

so glad that you worked through the awkwardness and you were able to just say, this is me. This is the shit that's going on. Like it? Nor do you

Liz Fiedler: 58:28

Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And that's exactly it too. I didn't have time to Oh, does he like me? There's it's, this is, there's a lot. And I don't know why you want any of this, but Okay. But I do think that it was scary to love again. It was scary, and I still he's. He's up. We bought a cabin that we're renovating right now and we've been working pretty hard on it. So he's up there right now about an hour away. And it's he'll get home probably midnight, like super late.'cause he is been working his butt off on it. And like I told him, I've just, this last month, like when he comes back, 'cause we'll go up there for the weekend and he'll work later and I just have this I know it's all in my head I know calm down. But I'm like, I just, I want you to be so careful driving at night. And he's I'm I'm just, I'm like, I don't know why. I just have this feeling something's gonna happen. And he is nothing's going to, I'm like, you don't know that. And that's, that started lately and it's you just have to calm down. It's just, 'cause this husband died young doesn't mean this and you give yourself the rational. But it's a very real thing. And I'll always worry probably more than the average person, how can I not? But I know that life is. I am just so happy to have the right person to share it with. I can honestly say if he wasn't who he is, like I, I don't want just someone like I'm happy and content, but he's great and then it's good.

Katische Haberfield: 1:00:09

yeah. Perfect. And I am somebody who's very spiritual and I work with angels. So I just wanted to leave you with one tip before we close off. And that is, there's actually, you can visualize and ask for just by saying out loud, can I have a triangulation of angels surrounding the car as he drives home? And trust me,

Liz Fiedler: 1:00:27

Yeah. Yeah. And I like he knows to answer the phone. He knows to and he knows not to be dismissive of it. He knows not to,

Katische Haberfield: 1:00:37

Yeah.

Liz Fiedler: 1:00:38

oh, calm down. He knows not to tell me and I'm like, I'm trying to be really but

Katische Haberfield: 1:00:43

yeah. I understand. I completely

Liz Fiedler: 1:00:45

when you've had the worst that can happen.

Katische Haberfield: 1:00:46

Yep,

Liz Fiedler: 1:00:47

When you imagine the worst, it has a lot of details. Your imagination has a lot of details.

Katische Haberfield: 1:00:53

Yep.

Liz Fiedler: 1:00:53

Yep.

Katische Haberfield: 1:00:54

get it. I will let you go fix up that iPad. Thank you so much and

Liz Fiedler: 1:00:59

Yes. Oh, no more iPad. I'm, not plugging it in. I'm not plugging this thing in. She's going to bed.

Katische Haberfield: 1:01:03

Alright,

Liz Fiedler: 1:01:04

Yes. Thank you so much.

Katische Haberfield: 1:01:06

Anyway, and thank you for taking your evening to talk with us on the podcast. Namaste.

Liz Fiedler: 1:01:13

Yes, thank you so much.

https: 1:01:20

//sunnymarymeadow.com/ Welcome to the Infinite Life with Katische Haberfield. I'd like to take you on a transformative