Ardor and the Abyss: Exploring the Darker Side of Psychic Abilities with Mike Oppenheim.

Exploring the Darker Side of Psychic Abilities with Mike Oppenheim.

In this episode of the Infinite Life with Katische Haberfield podcast, Katische speaks with Mike Oppenheim, a writer with an interest in psychic abilities and emotional processing. 

• Together, they discuss Mike's latest novel, 'Ardor,' which intertwines themes of psychic powers and father-son bonds amidst extraordinary circumstances. 
• Mike shares his personal experiences with premonitions, the impact of spiritual guidance on his writing, and how these have helped him cope with trauma in his life. 
• They delve into the existence and influence of psychic frauds, the importance of emotional intelligence, and practical methods to process negative emotions. 
• Mike also gives advice to aspiring writers and underscores the significance of deep introspection and commitment in the creative process. 
• This enlightening conversation offers a unique blend of spiritual insight, personal storytelling, and practical advice.

Chapter Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction to Infinite Life Podcast
00:39 Season 13 Overview and Guest Introduction
01:31 Mike Oppenheim's Background and Works
02:48 Discussion on Mike's Book 'Ardor'
05:02 Exploring Psychic Abilities and Personal Experiences
06:23 The Impact of Personal Trauma on Creativity
08:44 Spiritual Contracts and Life Lessons
14:15 Writing as a Therapeutic Process
18:21 Navigating the Psychic Community
26:01 Family and Friends' Reactions to Mediumship
27:40 Understanding Psychic Energy and Timelines
28:58 The Impact of Fear and Emotions
30:26 Bad Psychic Energy and Confidence Tricks
32:34 The Power of Thoughts and Visualizations
35:46 Techniques for Emotional and Spiritual Healing
47:06 Encouragement for Aspiring Writers
51:19 Final Thoughts and Farewell

Mike Oppenheim is a novelist, filmmaker, musician, and podcaster. His substack, featuring fiction, non-fiction, and his podcast, Coffin Talk, was noted in the top 25 Philosophy & Humor category. He also copyedits and indexes books, working with galley proofs in publishing, and runs a writing workshop.

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Transcript

0:00

Welcome to the Infinite Life with Katische Haberfield. I'd like to take you on a transformative journey, exploring the mysteries of the soul. I hope you enjoy the regression case studies, mediumship interviews, and fascinating discussions that I've had with guests on the podcast. I hope that these answer some of the questions that you might have about life on this planet, on others, and in other dimensions. Thank you for joining me and please don't forget to like and subscribe and Most importantly, share with your friends. Namaste. Welcome back to the Infinite Life with Katische Haberfield podcast. So we are in season 13 and I am having a conversations with Katische theme for this episode and this season of the podcast, where I bring on some interesting people who I've met through going on their podcasts and also people that I've met through sticking out my podcast profile on Podmatch, people whose books I've read and, other connections that I have in the online and offline world because I just think they're interesting, fascinating people. Mike, you're one of them. Mike is, a connection through, , a podcast, but I'll officially tell you that his name is Mike Oppenheim. And now I'll read his fancy profile, which I'm actually not going to take from your Podmatch profile. I'm going to take it from your book, because I like this version better. Mike Oppenheim has been interested in entertainment since he was a child, but became serious about it in 1999 when he began a career in music and film that eventually led to a focus on writing. In 2006, he started his weekly essay series, The Casual Casualist, which continues to be featured online and in various print forms. In 2011, he earned an MFA from Mills College in Creative Fiction with his first novel, Dysfunction. Two years later, he published his second novel, Babydoll, The Book, followed by Two True to Be Good in 2017, and The Apology in 2021. That same year, Mike and his wife Alana began their their podcast, Coffin Talk, a weekly show that explores the meaning of death. In his spare time, Mike eats avocados, facilitates writing workshops, and hangs with his family. For more information, please visit mikey op.com Officially, welcome to the show. Thank you. And actually,, I'd forgotten about that bio, that version. That's actually the best version. I'm gonna Go back, find the template for it, copy paste it, and start reusing that because, does sum it all up. yeah. Yep. And it makes, makes you laugh as well. So,, I still like avocados. Oh my gosh, yes. I actually bought two this morning, and I'm excited to have both tomorrow. Great, great. And so for people who are listening to this , you won't be able to see the one visual that I've got for you, but the reason that I wanted to talk to Mike amongst other things is we hadn't caught up about his book. Now, how do you pronounce the title of it? Ardor, and it's a real word in English, but it also was the name of the first street I remember that I had to memorize as a kid when you're, like, memorizing where you live to tell, like, the police or strangers or something. So I just always stuck Ardor, and I thought it would be a good name for a character. okay, perfect. Now, you've been writing for a long time and, , I've written small chapters to go into other people's books, but I've not published my own book as yet. So, I wanted to have a chat to you about the books that you've written and why did you write this book? Because this is the first one that I've actually purchased, as a hardcover and brought home and read. And I wanted to ask you some questions, you know, the general questions, because this one is, it's quite interesting. It's quite relevant to the work that I do and the people that I interact with in the, in the spiritual community. So, , I'll read the back of the profile of the book, what's on the, see, I'm so, such a professional in the writing industry. I'm like, oh, you know, it's just the back of the book, on the back. And, , then you can tell us about the inspiration for it. And then we'll go from there. So Ardor, Ardor. Agapian? That's how you pronounce it. I Yep. So Yep. I guess Yep. I don't know. It's Is, name. yep, is 21 years old, working a dead end job at the mall, grappling with the fallout of a bad decision. When he stumbles upon an ancient prophecy hidden in a long forgotten book, he realizes he must master his long dormant psychic abilities, or watch idly as humanity is destroyed by an unimaginably f unimaginably powerful force. To save his fellow humans, Ardor must travel the globe and contend with mysterious forces and shadowy clans whilst grappling with the fatal consequences of trying to stem the tide of darkness. Right, so there's a number of things there that I want to know about, but where, where did this pop into your head? How did you start thinking that, oh, I want to write a book about psychic abilities? That's a really good question and the answer is like multiple, but I think part of it just comes from a natural curiosity as a child because I grew up, near Berkeley, California, like one town over and Berkeley, California. At least at the time was pretty like hippie and by hippie I mean we had a lot of psychic shops spiritual shops crystal stores, you know It's where like the grateful dead are from san francisco berkeley. So for the international audience, it's a pretty Famous place at least in america if you say berkeley everyone knows what you're talking about and it's considered Even more hippie than san francisco if that makes sense. So especially with big tech and stuff. So berkeley Even now is not a tech center at all. They have signs that say nuclear free zone. We were famously the last city in America to allow people to be naked in public. I bring all this up because it just should let people understand that, like for me, inquiring and wondering about psychics was never weird. It was never like this, like, Oh my gosh, like I was, I had no religion I was raised with. I didn't fear any of this. And then also many times in my life I've had, things happen to me, or I've had like thoughts that then clearly manifest later and happen, but I would never in a million years say I'm psychic. That wouldn't be how I would relate it to myself or others. Others can say that, I don't care, but premonition I'm very comfortable using. Um, and so I've seen in my own life enough that I started to become obsessed with it. Flash forward to many, many, many years later, I was 35 and I went through a divorce and, my wife and I had joint custody of our son. And, I'm reticent for how to tell the story. So I tell it quickly now just because my son is getting older and I want to protect But, , At, when he was two, he went on a vacation with, , his mom, my ex wife, to another country, and, quite intentionally, they did not return, , that was, this day, the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, it still plagues me, it's not someone's fault, but it did happen to me, I did, I, I feel like a victim, I feel like I had no power or agency to stop it from happening, and to do anything about it, And so from that experience, there were two weird things. One, I had a strong premonition before that happened. And not only did I tell my attorney and everyone I knew, but I was laughed out of every room. I was told that that's crazy. I was told that people don't do that. She's from an affluent family that only happens with third world countries, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was. cowered into not going on that hunch because I was warned that it would look bad. They might go to court, I might lose custody, things like that. So I had to give my ex permission, but the reason this is tied into the book Ardor is Ardor is a loosely told story about how to deal with a premonition and whether or not you have agency. And then also, the bonds between a father and a son and how that can and can't work. And just to clarify for people listening, cause this does matter to me. I was with my son every single day of his life until he was two. He does know me. I love him. From the last time I spoke to him and saw him, I could tell he still loves me. So not, my hope is not lost, but you know, it's been seven years. I'm not raising my son. It's very difficult. I do have two daughters with my wife and I'm very happy. So that's the impetus for most of what went into the novel, but then like all of my novels and all of my essays and everything I do, as corny as it sounds, like I get into a flow state, the muse just tells me what to do and I do it. So. Yeah. And it did strike me, Mike, that, when I read this, the story, I thought straight away, well, this parallels in a different way, but quite similarly to the experience that you went through, because we had talked about that. I was curious as to whether or not you would define yourself as somebody who had psychic abilities, but it really does interest me. And I find it very, . Interesting that you had a premonition, I didn't know that part of it, about, what, what happened with your son, but I do know that you have also, because I know, and I won't go into the details, obviously, because it's private, but you know, you and I both had a, had a, a past life regression session, and you did receive spiritual guidance about the, the purpose of what you went through, , So I find it fascinating how we can have, you know, spiritual guidance about something, but yet there's also a part of us that needs to write it out. And it does, you know, we're humans at the end of the day, and we still need to explore all the different ways that we can grapple with what we have agreed to. In the between lives realms and the difference between that and then what it is to be physically human and go, I can't believe I agree to that or, you know, , can we change that now? Can we, can we stop this? Can we rip up that contract? You know, like all that sort of stuff is like, you know, sometimes in my own world. And even this morning, I woke up in the middle of In the middle of the night. And, you know, I, I was struggling with, my own lessons and I, you know, used a tool that Dolores contra Dolores Cannon taught, which was to physically rip up a contract in your mind. And so I do physically rip up contracts, in my own mind when I get to a point where it's like, you know what, I've, I've learned this lesson now, I understand, I've got the wisdom from it. I'm telling you now, I can't cope with this anymore. So I've used all my spiritual tools and we're done. Okay. and then, you know, as I say, I go up in my sleep and I have a chat with them and, I come back down and I feel a bit better. And sometimes I wake up and I yell out in my sleep, I don't want to do that. So it is a very real thing for people who have spiritual abilities and who understand, contracts and what we do with different people in different, lifetimes that. you can agree at a certain level, but you can also vehemently disagree at a human level. So I just wanted to let you know, I do understand and I really wanted to encourage people, , that writing is a great method of processing thoughts and more about this than me, but you know, creating stories does help us. process various different elements and helps us teach, , the things that we want to know. I guess one of the things that really struck me, and sometimes I find myself to be very wise of the spiritual world. And, I'm really in touch with, , I do spirit releasement therapy and I help, remove demons and all sorts of things. But I remember reading this book and thinking to myself, Oh, you're so naive, Katische. And, I, because I was like, People use their psychic skills for bad? Like, it's like, this is awful, you know, like, why would somebody do that? And I'm like, oh, she comes to the, to the earth with her son. And, I actually ponder this all the time, especially with, like, international and national politics in my country, the United States, which is that, the yin yang, the, you know, you can't have good without bad, like, who is here? Also, something I recently heard is, like, every one of us is the enemy in someone's story. Like, even if it's just, like, that time they came into my coffee shop and I messed up their order. Like, even in that. Story I was their enemy that day. I was the person they complained about that night or so it's like interesting because is part of the contract too that you're gonna be human You're gonna mess up. I was in a fight with my wife this week and it sucks It sucks to fight with your spouse. She knows it. I know it and at one point she was angrily laughing and said, Well, I mean, this is just the contract I made. I have to be married to a guy who does this. And she's referring to me, like being clumsy and hitting a car and like, it costs a lot of money. So that's what, like, that's what the fight was over. But the fight really is about like how we interact after conflict, you know? So it Yeah. and, and it's wonderful to be married to someone who's spiritual because we can still get upset and laugh, but just like you said that and just like I'm saying this, there is like an ability to kind of like talk yourself off of the ledge and so I really like what you said about the contract thing because I wish I could say I'm there to tear it up with my son and I, but I'm actually not, as weird as that sounds, like I'm still learning a valuable lesson and I know I am, but I would give so much money to pay to have that lesson be done right now. Does that translate to you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it becomes, yeah, it's, it seems to become urgent at certain points to finish with things so you can move on. But it's been, wonderful to see how you have the blessing of two little girls, but it doesn't ever feel the whole of. Yeah. So, and that's part of the learning as well. And I think, a lot of people who have gone through trauma in their childhoods, because I now do, not only past life regression, but I do hypnotherapy with age regression, which means I take a person back to this lifetime rather than a previous lifetime. A lot of the things that I do notice is that, people can't see how much they are loved. And, , and the impact that they have on, on the people around them. So it is really beautiful for people to understand no matter whether you are with your birth parents or not, if there's distance or a war separating you or whatever, fundamentally there is that pure love that a parent has for you. Even if. They are one of these parents that do do horrible things to you. There is still that pure love. And we as a humanity, I believe do need to really search within our souls to find all the different ways and methods to find forgiveness with ourselves and the people we love and who we have loved. And it is very, very difficult. So did you find that the, the process of writing this story? Was that cathartic for you, or, because you know, when you say you bring in, you're the muse, a lot of people who don't describe it, it as, it was written for me. It is really a labor of emotions and tears and anger comes up as they write and, you know, it's a whole therapy session in itself. Writing a story, , like the one that you did. Did you find it had that emotional element for you, or when you write as a muse does it just literally write, write, write, and then you're done, and you're like, oh wow, okay. Like, how does it work for you? It works differently for each novel, actually, because I hadn't thought about this until you said it. So this novel had a different mission. And the mission with this novel was to not give up on my career because when everything got taken, there's a part of me that just wants to take my ball and go home. So I'm going to take my gifts, my, my love and passion for the arts and just quit. And then just make enough money to barely pay my rent and like eat crappy food and just die. You know, like, that's like a, I'm not. get depressed and I don't have any like strong mental health issues, but when pushed to the brink, I have discovered multiple times that I do not seek alcohol or drugs or, Irrational acts, action. I seek like slow, pathetic depression. There was a movie called the whale that came out by, Darren Aronofsky. And a lot of people panned it and said it was like fat shaming and all these other things. But to me, it was a movie about giving up and just emotionally overeating until you die. And I really struck a strong chord with me of resonance because that's exactly how in the movie, his husband has been, has committed suicide and, , he just can't handle it. And I, like, felt such a strong kinship with the character because that's how I felt when my son was, like, removed from my life, for lack of a better word. When, all of my ability to be the kind, loving father that I dreamed about since youth. And, I also had visions my whole life of my, like, holding my son's hand and looking down at his, like, little cute black hair. And then one day, like, shortly before he was taken, I was actually walking. with him and I looked down and I just had this like it wasn't deja vu it was oh dream came true like this dream since you were a little kid and you begged your parents for a little sibling and they said no for great reasons now but you know and so it's like interesting that the one thing I really wanted to do was taken away but also I have a lot to do with him being taken away because I did file for divorce. I did like initiate the demise of the, you know, binary and then his mother isn't bad or good, like it doesn't matter to me. She's not like, and the actions that they committed, meaning her and her parents who facilitated it, they weren't bad or good either. They were just them from their point of view doing their human thing. And so it's like all of that did get processed in the of not giving up to write the novel, but then to directly answer that novel is so much fiction and not like, , reality to me. Like the character Esmeralda is not at all based on my son's mom, not even like at all. And, the plot is not based, you know, it's just. I had. So, so in that way, it was just the muse. And then the other thing I want to mention just really quick, as far as the therapy for me, I have trouble not paying attention to time. It's like my biggest issue as a human. I'm aware of time, even like right now, without looking at the clock, I can probably tell you within one minute, how long you and I've been talking. It's just this like weird, fascinating ability I have. And as a teacher, it was the best thing ever. Cause I would know when the clock was winding down, but I didn't look. So the students wouldn't like know that I was looking at the clock. Which is good for time management. And so when I write and get into flow state, it's the only time where I'm not doing that. And it's the most relaxing feeling in the world to like, actually lose myself in time. Like almost everyone I know does every day all the time is like a blessing. Cause even in sleep, I'm aware I'm sleeping most of the night. I'm usually like. Getting up, looking at the clock, going back to sleep, forcing myself to go back. Cause I know my physical body will be tired, but my brain is just always active. It always wants to be up and on my brain. It's like, Yep. actually annoying, but Yep. good and bad, you know? Yep. Okay, and having grown up in a community with psychics, And I have to tell you, considering what I do now, it's, I find it quite funny how I was totally not aware of anything to do with psychics or tarot readers or oracle readers or, nothing where I grew up that just didn't even come into my, into my world until Oh, after uni, you know, so I was like, what, what? So when I said I was fascinated with the misuse of psychic abilities, have you experienced that in, , the community that you grew up? You know, like, as I said, I was shocked that, you know, you know, just like I, now that I'm a hypnotherapist, I'm, uh, still shocked that people would be shonky hypnotherapists. And that's why, you know, the industry has a reputation. Cause I like, I approach it from a very methodical and pure of heart approach. And I'm like, what do you mean people would, so tell me about your experiences with, misuse of psychic intent and how would somebody understand and know and be aware that they're actually dealing with a shonky practitioner? in your experience based on, you know, your community and what you've read and what you put into the book, because obviously that's part of it. Yeah. Yeah, well, let me make sure to clarify something because I think I misspoke or something went wrong. I grew up next to Berkeley, so Next to Berkeley. Yeah. in the community, so I witnessed a community, but it was still laughed at by like my community, Yeah. Okay. up in an affluent suburb where like mom and dads go to work and carry a briefcase. My parents are trans developmental meditators, so they're hippie adjacent, meaning like. They're mocked regularly before meditation became popular. So for most of my life and their life by all their friends and family, but also they're not like that crazy. Cause they don't believe in psychics. So I wasn't raised by parents who said psychics are real. I also was not raised by parents who said psychics are fake. Like, it's very important that I just wasn't raised with, like, , both of my parents said, we don't know the truth, you don't know the truth, most of us will probably never know the truth, but it's a good idea to meditate and seek truth, like, Yep. Okay. Okay. Now, to speak to your point, though, I have entered the community of psychics. I've had a lot of experiences that got me into that., hosting the Coffee Talk podcast was not actually what got me into it. Um, what really got me into it was the premonition about my son, followed by the action happening, and then a random person telling me to talk to a person who didn't call herself a psychic, still doesn't call herself a psychic, but is totally psychic. Like, she's so against using that label because it, , closes the window of people she can help. So she's, I call her a secret psychic. Mm. But what she says is like she's an intuitive educator and she intuitively so she has helped me see that the word intuition is the path to reaching more people for people like you who specifically do it. And also I will say this to your credit but also to people out there. There are a ton of frauds, I did research, there are a ton of frauds, it's, there is a reason our community is, Is always going to suffer as long as there's an economy and money and fast grabs and that sort of attitude. So as long as like And it's not capitalism, it could happen in comm, you know, it doesn't matter, but as long as the incentive is to promise people something they're desperate for because desperate people will pay more, but there are gifted people, there are real psychics, and also I think the perception of what a psychic is is very mixed across the globe. I think some people think a psychic is like, no, no, no, no, you're going to appear on an orange carpet on April 23rd, and like, that's not really what any of the psychics I know. Both fake and real would, would even do. Even the fake ones were good at faking what they're supposed to do., there's one psychic in Phoenix, Arizona that calls herself a psychic who I paid for twice, once to do research and a second time because she's real. She's the most real, by the stereotypical Hollywood definition of a psychic person I Okay. Most of the people I spoke to who are credible, say the same thing. They say, I'm just reading your own mind back to you. It's not me. I'm not predicting the future. I'm seeing what you're manifesting. So if you change based on today's conversation, that will change. That's credible to me. Mm. buy. If someone's saying something different, I still wouldn't tell them, no, you're a fraud because again, I don't know, but I Yeah. Yeah. say with most certainty that we're in between this world before we come here. And then we become this fake thing that you call it. I call Mike, but. We both know that that's not us. That's a carcass. The thing that wasn't here before here, wasn't here before here or after here. Cause here in time is just only here. So therefore I don't think it's fair to say that you can or cannot predict the future because I don't know what that even means in the larger, so that's how I explain it to myself at night, which I do often because it's, it's still happens. I still, now I know. a premonition feels like and now I know to follow it and it does help. that would be the other thing I would say is like it, it does help. So like seeing you to have help with that is, is vital and important. And, and every sacred culture has had people like you who do it. And, and that's why I was bringing up the money part is once we created jobs and an economy and like getting fired and laid off and hiring and paying rent, it confused. the purpose of all souls on earth. Mm, I've had a lot of trouble with this is my purpose to write novels and have a giant ego and have people go, I recognize him. I read his book. He's good. Like, yeah, as a five year old, that was thousand percent. My purpose was I want to hear he's good. Cause I don't hear that enough somewhere in my childhood. You know, I don't get enough. He's good attention., As I watched people who had less he's good attention go farther than me, because they were more desperate for he's good attention, I started to make a connection between arts, entertainment, and fame, and how disastrous that is. So that's my version of what I'm talking about, because I don't think psychics are gunning for fame, and as a matter of fact, I am sure And I'd love to ask you, I would just like to ask you the following question. it been more negative or positive with family members and friends in your life? The announcement that you are psychic, like how has that Oh, I, I, I don't call myself a psychic, so, I, I call myself, , sorry. Past life regression therapist, a hypnotherapist and a medium. I know that mediums have psychic abilities, and I know that somebody would call me psychic because I do have premonitions. But the psychic stuff. Is for myself and my own life and specifically to help me navigate and understand fear. So whenever something that happens that I have a psychic, premonition about every single time, it's been about my own fear and learning to get through fear because, when I do my spirit releasement therapy, I'm working a hundred percent in the realms of fear, you know? And so I have to be able to understand what a client could potentially be afraid of. that's causing them to experience everything in the world that you can think of, you know, , being attacked, you know, in their sleep or whatever it is., and so I need to understand what my own fears are so that I can be empathetic and compassionate, but also be not afraid of their fear. If that makes sense. So, , I don't ever do a psychic reading. And when I do do a reading, it's a mediumship and really quirkily and strangely, it's always the connections that I bring through a past life. So it's really quite odd. So if you clicked on my website and said, I'm going to have a, I'll have a business mediumship session or a normal mediumship session, I'll say to you, okay. As long as you read the proviso that says sure I might bring through your grandma, but I'm more likely to bring through you Your auntie from four lifetimes ago, and I don't know why I can do that And it's really weird, but they've got something important to say so and the second part to your question do my family know? No, they're not interested Yeah. They friends. I also want to know about friends. yeah, our friends are only my spiritual friends. So most people that I meet Yeah, like they have, yeah, I only have a very small realm of close friends these days. I have a large association, and in the larger association, so say people who went to, I went to school with, they know me that they find it interesting that I'm a medium now, but they, Yeah. not my clients because I don't do, you know, friends. Huh. my family is very,, supportive of me, but not interested in the work that I do because it's out of the scope of their realm, what I say, in this incarnation. They're meant to be disinterested in order for me to, push the boundaries of fear. Do you know what I mean? Definitely. yeah, all this. yeah, yeah, so, the, I, I wasn't born into a family of mediums or psychics, for example, I don't come from that tradition, I don't even come from a religious family, you know, so, I have felt quite alone in that, but then I have some very supportive, very close spiritual friends. Who I troubleshoot with and obviously mentor and things like that. So, yeah, but I still don't call myself psychic. And I think it's because I don't present to market and there's something that I still have to work through, which is about perceptions and fear and people understanding that, as you said, this is energy that you're picking up from the person and these are potentials. Everyone has free will and every decision you make in every moment in every day changes the timelines. So, and timelines is a, it's a concept that it's very hard to get your head around. I mean, it's hard enough to get your head around multiple past lives and concurrent past lives and, and then you add in the timeline of every decision potentially changing. It's like my brain just goes into overload. So it's like, yeah, I don't predict the future. You know, I just tell you. What I see that is urgent that your soul is trying to come through and bash you on the head with basically and say How many more signs do you need? How many more signals do you? Okay, you're not listening to anyone in this life So we'll bring through a past life friend who's here to say, would you please? You know, that's the kind of sort of the I'd do it a much nicer way, but you know, that's the sort of the essence for me because I'm an impatient person. And so, I think that what I bring through is the impatient messages from the soul, if that makes sense. yeah, that resonated deeply and it's also interesting because I were like into the podcast and I tend to start wanting to interview the person that I'm talking to because like you're so fascinating to me and what you said just really connects to me, which is this, it's really all about fear for me. It really is. It's like I have struggle and I have pain, but those to me are more like indicators because I. So like I have a fear and if I address it and remedy it, then I won't pain or struggle. But if I get, if I compel the fear to manifest, it will manifest in pain or struggle. Fear is a preceder to those and so it's like very interesting as you said that because yeah, I, I asked you because even just publishing this book, like I had friends buy it and then not read it and they're like, I can't read about this crap and it was like very hard self esteem, but a lot of reasons to deal with that and I was like, oh, pen a bestseller like, you know, like, like a bestseller has to be like like, Oh, this person got raped and murdered and then drug into a yard. And then like, it's like very interesting that, , as society becomes less real as memes and online culture and AI, and people start using the phrase, the matrix over and over and over again, with all of that, none of the good part that should be coming in my opinion is actually coming out, which is a respect for you and I using the terms we use talking and relating on the level we are. And again, I do feel bad that there are like false authorities looking to be authorities and speak. about Wisdom, for lack of a better word, like it's one thing to say my experience by this, you know, but, and so when I was writing the novel, and you asked me about bad energy and bad psychics, I'm finally going to answer that now because of what I was getting at is that's the bad psychic energy is the energy of disbelief, the energy of like compelling people. To not listen to their spiritual voice, to not listen to their wisdom. So the character as Merelda on the novel is really actually just doing like normal human tricks, like many politicians, not just the guy in charge of my country that no one, including me likes, it's, it's like. When people say con man, con man stands for confidence, man, and women can be confidence women. And it means that you sell your confidence to other people. So confidence in your psychic abilities is just one of those things now to go back to like, Psychic energy. I do believe that if you're really angry at a person, you can haunt them. You can make them feel your anger, even if you're miles away. And I believe that we can, I believe some of those dreams people are having are caused by other people's directed, on purpose, intentional energy to make them feel bad. Going back to this week with my wife, because I like to talk about myself and my problems, because I think it really resonates with people and helps them. And my wife doesn't love it, but she's okay with it. Like, that's a lot of what happens when I get angry with her, is like, I want her to feel how upset she made me, and that is when I start to abuse what I would say my psychic powers, and I have to work hard on that, and I'm not saying, like, I shoot electricity at my wife and make, it's not like this movie thing, but it is real, like, when you're angry and yelling at a person, Even if the volume's off, they feel your rage. You can give your partner a look in a restaurant, and they know, or they can give it to me. I should be more like honest. And they know the car ride home is gonna be hell. Like, you just know that like, you crossed the line. And sometimes you do it with a stranger, and you know you crossed the line, you know you're never gonna be able to Like, it's just not gonna come up. Which is a terrible feeling. I haven't, I don't know if you've read this book, but you will love it. It's called, but I it's called Tulpa Thought Forms. It's by C. W. Leadbeater. And, , this shows you what's, it's,, what's, It's going to be very hard, but what energy looks like psychically? So, , this one is sustained anger and rage. So it looks like a lightning bolt with a storm at the end of it. And this is actually, , it's a whole book of, so you can see this one here. Watchful jealousy is like got a hook. And this is. it. angry jealousy, you know, it's a ball of fire, basically with spikes coming out of it. So it's a whole book showing you exactly what you just said about how people feel energy. And they do, and they also show you in this book, , helpful thoughts, , and emotions and, you know, basically, so like this, this helpful thoughts, can you see that it's like. It's got round, round filling. It goes through all the fillings. It shows you, , This one here at the very front is the angelic energy coming out of a church where people are praying. So it's not about the religion, but it's about the, the, the, yeah. So that is a really good book because yes, you're precisely true because, people can feel your thoughts. Thoughts are energy. Thoughts are the most powerful energy in the universe other than love because they manifest. emotionally, physically, mentally, and they can be felt and hooked into the body. So that's why people are like, wow, that's a look that can kill. Yes. Because it's like a dagger. So Yeah. yeah. So if anyone's interested in reading that book, I managed to buy the, you know, the fake version. So buy the, did you know Amazon, you know this, Yeah. buy the expensive one because the expensive one comes with color illustrations, not black and white, and the colors show you the nuances of emotions. So I've had a client, who I did spirit releasement therapy with and I bought her the hardback version of this so that she could understand because it's really, you know, it's hard to say to somebody, calm down, you know, cause it doesn't work. And also mind your thoughts. All right. I've got a busy brain. I can't mind my thoughts. But if you can visualize what your thoughts look like to a psychic, you can visualize, the effects of your thoughts. And you can see how also when you're having bad thoughts about yourself, how those spikes are turned inwards, you know? So it's, for me, it's a way that I visualize to people, yeah, okay, it's hard to be mindful of your thoughts, but have a look at it diagrammatically. And that will make more sense to you, so that at the same time that you're thinking a thought, rather than chastising yourself for being angry or whatever, you can say, Oh wow, I think I just threw one of those spikes, daggers, hooks. And I didn't mean it, I was just in the moment of emotion, I'm a human being. And I, it's important for me not to beat that up, beat myself up on it. But, , if I can be more aware of it before it comes out, or I can modify that, cause you know, we need to express emotions, otherwise it turns into illness, but I also learned this beautiful technique. I think, I think you might've had her, have you had Tina Irwin on your podcast? Yes. Yes, so Tina, Yeah, Tina, I did an interview with Tina last week and the episodes coming out on Sunday where she teaches us the rose petal visualization. We did the whole episodes about visualizations, for, vibration and spiritual protection. It's the best thing that I'm using it all the time at the moment. If you're feeling anxious, if you're feeling like you've got too many impatient thoughts, if you can't calm your mind down, , then you visualize pink rose petals, right? And you visualize, they don't have to be with an angel, but I visualize, I say, angels, please come in, fill my room or my house. or my public space or wherever you are with rose petals. And then when you're finished, could you please clean them up and take away the residual energy as well? No joke. It works. Within a few minutes you feel yourself soften. You feel the energy in the room soften. You feel your anxious thoughts or your fast racing thoughts calm down. And then when you ask them and thank them for removing the residual energy, they take all the thought forms out with them. Because thought forms are actual be beings. They're, they're actual energy. And so what the rose petals , and so that's why people have lots of roses in their gardens and they use rose essential oil because it's the highest frequency essential oil on the planet., and so you, when you visualize the rose petals, you'll notice that some people, if you have particularly good olfactory system or, you know, the sense of smell is particularly strong for you, you can smell the rose petals into the room. And that just calms down your, and olfactory systems and it helps you calm. And you can do it. You know, you could be the one in the stinker or somebody else in the house could be the one in the stinker. But if you're saying I invite the angels to help everybody, you know, then your whole, your whole, the whole room will calm down. So it's a beautiful technique. That she taught me., it's incredible and I could feel it. I was partly doing it and I could feel it actually happening as we spoke. And the reason I love it the most is that, when I meditate, I often experience this, I get to a state, I don't know what it would be called, but it's transcending consciousness. And I'm like able to manifest smells and things like that in that state. And yet I'm not there. Like it's not me. So it's like interesting because I can relate strongly to that, like that idea right there. But also when you use the word, soften, that's like this new keyword I'm starting to really notice. And I'm sure it's confirmation bias, but The only solution to anger, rage, depression, strong emotions that are keeping you awake at night or causing you to behave in ways that you don't like, like you get up and pace or something, or you can't remember what you're supposed to be doing because you keep going back to this thought. To soften, in my opinion, you have to soften your heart. Like you have to like, look at your heart, which is just an organ, but it is like the, emotional center for me, at least. And, and so when people say like, forgive your enemies, I don't like that. Cause I don't want to have enemies. I don't even want to use that word. But when I think about my son and his family and all of the strife and turmoil that they and I have both gone through, I work now on just softening my heart. And then I pray for their hearts to soften and it really feels good. And it works. And then the other thing I wanted to address because you said it way earlier, but I really liked it is I believe each of us does have a unique, , upper hand when we're born at some spiritual ability. So I would say that there's so many spiritual abilities. I couldn't even possibly name them all., and I think that psychic would be one, mediumship would be another. And again, I think all humans can develop and, and, nurture, whichever ones they want. But I do feel like some of us, pick up on them early and have them. And I feel like other people don't even know they have them, but they have them. But mine is actually going back to the visual thing. can like close my eyes and meditate and then picture any person who I've met or am asked to picture. And I can see their spine and all I can see is the color of it. And it goes from like, I've never seen it pitch black, but it would go from that. Like think of, like an air filter in a car that's supposed to be clean and white, and then it gets closer and closer to sooty, sooty black. Like that's the spectrum. And, uh, tested it so many times and it's never failed, but I can like write someone an email and be like, Hey. are you doing okay? Like, whenever I check in on someone and they're on like the bad side of gray. And so it's interesting because that I'm sure it has to do with that book. Like, until you showed me that and talked about it, I wasn't really aware of like, what I'm seeing. And it's the spine just because it's the spine. I don't know how to explain it, but that's my brain's way of like processing it, but it is color specific and shape specific. And that's what I found really interesting. Yeah. And so the, , sorry, it's just smiling because, I was taught this principle that links back into what you're doing., and I enacted it in my Christmas tree this year, just gone past. So instead of putting the twinkling lights around the leaves, you know, the, the edges of the tree, I wrapped them around the core of the spine of the tree. And that was my visualization to remind me that your highest self comes down through the spine and the white light energy. And so how that dovetails into what you're saying is that I believe probably what you're describing is that, , your chakras, your chakra colors can be, reflected in the color of your spine, but also thought energy attachments, all that sort of stuff can be seen in the spine because the spine is the symbol for support. So it's emotional support. So people who have spine problems have emotional support. They feel like nobody's supporting them, that they're standing on their own and they're like a tree that's ready to crack because there's no one there to stand for them. So when we do that deep work, you could perhaps, just a suggestion that's come to my mind is visualize maybe rose petals wrapping their spine., and, and, or just sending them Archangel Raphael and saying, you know, I don't have dominion over that person, but it would be very kind if you could bless their spine right now and he'll send the green ray or whatever. And then, you know, it's just a layer, but it may help them in that moment. And, when you're talking about, you know, downloading and becoming connected with your higher self, you know, every layer of. rot of self hatred that we take away, we, instead of hearing the voice of fear, we hear the voice of our divine self, and that is never going to be negative. That is always going to be calming and it's always going to be helpful. So that's how I would, yeah, it's, it's, it's very interesting that you say that you can do that. Yeah, but yeah, people can do that. You know, if you, if you see that, that's yeah, part of your special skill. It's very interesting. when you said it all just ties into like what I'm really all about, ever since, ever since I was a child is just trying to get people to like stay positive because it really matters. I know it just sounds so corny, even if the world is air quotes going to hell, it doesn't really matter because it wasn't hell before and it's not hell now. It's just your perception of where you're born and what you expected and what's happening. And so like, none of us are in hell or not in hell. We're just either telling ourselves we are or not. to me, that's, that has to do with the health of your spine, your chakra, your body. You said, if you don't process emotions, this is the hardest thing in life for me is I don't understand how I'm supposed to process an emotion and not lose my mind. And yet when I process emotions, I don't lose my mind and I feel better, but it's like the fear of processing an emotion for me as a boy from the 1980s from America is just absurdly high. It's not toxic masculinity. It's a totally different concept. It's Yeah, Yeah, and I don't know if boys in New Zealand, I don't know if like, this is like, whether it's Western culture, Eastern culture, or whether it's masculine driven, whether, but I just know that like, it's terrifying how few men I know, including myself, want to like, have a, it's hard, I know you know what I'm trying to say, but I yeah, finish the sentence yeah, hard for me to talk about this, not because I'm embarrassed, I just don't even have a good articulation of it. yeah, I have two teenage boys, so I understand completely because yeah we teach boys don't cry, toughen up, you'll be right, stiff upper lip, whatever. And as a mother, the first thing that I try to do is to comfort them and what do you do? I look back at their childhood now and I go, oh darling, here, have a Milo, have some chocolate, it'll, but I know spiritually the chocolate does soothe emotions, but also, they need to feel those emotions. But I also have to feel, get used to, them being comfortable expressing emotions around me. Because, I don't like conflict. And they're debaters, they love to debate, so that, but the thing that I have found works for people is simply, , a visualization where you breathe in the, in a meditative state or a calm state or just relying , on the floor or whatever you want. Visualize that you're breathing in the white light of your higher self. And then you put it through a, like an internal combustion fire, right? Chimney or whatever you want to. And the Buddhist taught me this and, and you breathe out the sooty smoke and literally, so whatever emotion you're working with, you breathe in the white light and you breathe out the bullshit. and the emotion. And you keep going until it's clear. And that's how you get respite from that emotion. And, , you keep, if that works for five minutes and then you need to come back and do it half an hour later, that's fine. But it's just, that's the visualization that is. showing you the link to say your spine where it's like you're seeing color and the dark represents the whole spectrum of dark emotions and the things that you're trying to work through. If white doesn't work for you, imagine pink or gold or whatever or green, but yeah, that's a way that you could try to,, and other men and boys could try is just that, , visualization of breathing in. Beautiful color and exhaling a nasty color and what you're doing is you're moving that emotion through your body and you're using basically like your heart as the combustion tool. Yeah, so that was just a thought. Yeah, no, I, it's hard because I'm picturing myself at 15 as a boy and then I'm picturing, your advice and, it's not a hard sell, but it's interesting because, it just reminds me of, , I just think we should be teaching all children, not just boys, Yeah. Yeah, this, , I don't understand why we're not teaching them. Yeah. preparing humans as children to deal with how hard it is to be an adult, not with like paying bills and making money, but with, with dealing with emotions, with dealing with the curveballs, with dealing with all this stuff. So it's like incredible to me. I just can't., and need to like it. it like, yeah. We need a curriculum within schools, which is emotional intelligence and emotional processing alongside relationships, because you're thrown out. You're thrown out into the world. What's the first thing that happens when you leave school? If I have a girlfriend or boyfriend, bang, , Oh, there was no, there's no textbook for this. All the emotions that I feel, there's no textbook for this. Yeah, but that's a whole nother subject in a whole nother podcast. What would be your in closing? Cause I want to respect your time. You've got a very small family. What would be your tips?, One or two or three tips that you have for people who feel like they've got something to say and they're afraid of saying it or in what format or whether it should be story or non fiction or just a blog or a podcast. How would you encourage them? I have encouragement for the person who's sure they're supposed to say it, but I want to give caution. Sometimes we get exuberant. Sometimes we feel strongly about something. And I have learned the hard way that I'm an emotionally driven human, which means I get emotions that are strong and that I'm supposed to wait. And then act on them. So if your strong emotion is to write something or to like, , not just specifically political activism, but anything, even just like an email to a friend that you think is going to help them, I would say, and this is my term for it, check in, really make sure , you're in alignment with the universe, you're breathing correctly, you're not consumed with any emotions. And then once You're sure now I will answer the question, which is, right first and just write it if it's writing, film it first, like whatever it is, artistically draw it like, and just do it. And, second you think about reception outcome or, anything like that, it's over. You're already out of what the thing is you wanted to deliver. And so that's actually what editing is for. So this is my best advice. You're never done editing, but you do have to eventually say, I'm done editing. So Artur is done. But the form of Ardor that you read is like version 700, and it like, , my previous four novels, , while they were in contract negotiations with publishing houses, I wasn't able to get the contract of my dreams, with Ardor, I worked longer and harder and edited more and I got a contract and it was not the contract of my dreams, but it was a contract and it was like validation for something I needed, I don't think I Personally, I would recommend self publishing. I would not recommend using traditional legacy media at this point. I would not, I've, I've done both. And I also have an MFA and understand the business side of everything. The literary market is plunging. The nonfiction market is not plunging, but as far as like. What your contract will be and how you could make a living off of it. It's all you promoting it anyway. So you might as well promote it yourself and get more profit. That's what I would tell anyone. But again, so we're talking about three things here. Now we're talking about is the idea itself good? Well, it's not about if it's good or not. It's about if it's really supposed to happen, if you're supposed to do it, once you say yes to that, then it's don't think at all about it and just do it and do it many, many times and then edit. both with your human and spiritual side, which is actually hard and a gift and something you have to develop. So I think most people know how to write. I think very few people know how to edit. And I think, , When you think you know how to edit give yourself five more years and then you'll see that you still don't know how to edit and then 20 years later I can definitely edit now I do understand like the process it's more important than the writing itself. So as much as that angers people and they don't want to hear it. I was a teacher I am a teacher at heart. Sorry, but that's really what gets it done is the final third phase of like your work. soul and its effort meeting the real world because we are here. You are a human. I am a human. You don't want to be bored and you don't want to read crap. So if you bought the book Ardor because you like Mike Oppenheim and you get to page 10, you're like, this is slop. I haven't helped you and I haven't helped myself. And unless my goal was just to get you as a sucker to buy my book so I could get like 2 or something, it was just like insane. My real heartfelt advice to people is yes. Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has at least one story to tell. I truly believe this. Is your story gonna sell? Who cares? No. Both of those are probably true. Even if it does sell, it won't matter when it does. And if it matters, if it doesn't, you're not looking at life the way I would encourage you to look at it, which is more spiritual and less. If publishing a book got rid of my fear of never being published, which it did, now I can relax. I no longer have this, and it was a stupid fear, but it's so stupid to need accolades, and external recognition. But hey, I'm human and I can totally admit it and I want to admit it. I want to help especially younger people because it's a huge. Issue even more now with social media this idea that like the cash of all cash is actually fame and influence and recognition that would be my advice and just to make it really truncated and short Make sure that you're supposed to do it just do it like nike No, no thoughts of what's going to happen next and then a marriage between Thinking of like what am I going to do with this and is it good and all that? Perfect. Thank you so much. And thank you so much for your time today, Mark. And don't forget listeners to go and listen to Coffin Talk, Mike's podcast. So namaste and it was wonderful to see you again. thank you so much You're welcome.