Midlife: Examining Legacy Planning with Angelina Carleton

Katische Haberfield, engages in a profound discussion with Angelina Carleton, a legacy planning expert, coach, and podcaster. They explore the concept of legacy, how to identify and lean into one's values, and the emotional journey of self-discovery and authenticity. Angelina shares her personal experiences and insights into designing a holistic and impactful legacy, emphasizing the importance of personal agency and intentional living. The conversation also touches on the interconnectedness of legacy and identity, and the role of spiritual beliefs in shaping one's legacy.

Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Infinite Life with Katische Haberfield00:39 Exploring Values and Legacy03:18 Guest Introduction: Angelina Carleton05:42 The Journey into Legacy Planning09:29 Defining Personal Values13:29 Empowerment Through Legacy16:42 Midlife and Reinvention24:06 Inspiration from Legacy Builders25:14 The Value of Time and Wisdom25:45 Designing a Legacy: Prerequisites and Readiness26:14 Midlife Reflections and Inciting Events27:48 The Role of Universities and Early Vision Planning29:06 Personal Legacy and Public Persona33:09 Celebrity Influence and Authenticity35:30 Defining Values and Living Authentically37:24 The Importance of Coaching and Self-Reflection43:16 Backward Planning and Legacy Vision44:59 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Contact Angelina: https://www.youtube.com/@Your-Legacy

https://www.angelinacarleton.com/

https://www.facebook.com/DesignUrLegacy

Book a mediumship session with Katische and the Divine Beings of Light. This will give you clarity and wisdom beyond your conscious mind's understanding to bring forth miracles in your life in the area you most need it. Namaste.

Listen all the way until the end for a special activation gift from Archangel Zadkiel.

Podcaster?- host with Buzzsprout
Buzzsprout is my podcast host of choice! 3 years in podcasting has led me to Buzzsprout!

Looking for Podcast Guests? Podmatch
Take the hassle out of endless emails, Facebook groups and pitches to get Pro guests.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to the Infinite Life with Katische Haberfield. I'm a quantum soul therapist, and I'd like to take you on a transformative journey, exploring the mysteries of the soul, past lives, and infinite existence. Through over 60 regression case studies, mediumship interviews, and fascinating discussions with interesting human beings, uncover what it means to be a human facing duality on earth, whilst embracing the true nature of reality non duality and unconditional love. When we talk about legacy if it's just simply ego, which it does happen in certain stratas of society, because there's different rules in every level of society, but if it's just that I bought a sports team or I bought another sports team, it's got to be deeper than that because that alone is empty. And so I think when we talk about values, it's again, yeah, it's how do you define your value? So if you even get it down to three or four, that's amazing. Now, here's where it gets emotional. Is if you have the opportunity to lean in and develop them every week, Oh, life gets rich then it's not just am I racing to my death? Or am I, is it just another day? Oh, no. When you start to develop your values and lean into them. Oh my gosh, that's like a bittersweet, holy cow, I checked that off my list of goals this week and those goals are like passionate. And I think probably what you might experience, I'm only guessing is that we can get to the point and we're like, my value is mine or they my mom's, are they my husband's? Yes. Yeah. And that's a part of the peeling the onion process. I think that is a part of the discovery process. And just like on your podcast, you peel the onion to discover past lives and past life regression, I think that when somebody looks at their own life, how much of their identity is their own compared to their parents, and then to pull that apart and to say, okay, this is the identity that I'm stepping into that, that again, that's, that gets exciting because it's theirs. And there is something that's, Very linked between legacy and one's identity that is and so even from a spiritual perspective, like if you talk about business owners and one of the things they say is, okay now I've sold my business for millions. Now what? One of the things you talk about is the spiritual aspect. Who are we in God? Who are we in the angels or whatever somebody deems to be their context for spirituality. And I think it's the same thing when you discover your own values separate from your parents. It's like all of a sudden it's like life becomes refreshing again. Like, this is mine if you talk about personal agency, it's like when it's yours, Oh it's, good. Transcript by Rev. com Page of Angelina Carleton is the founder of legacy planning a published author and a retreat facilitator. She's also the hostess of the design, your legacy podcast on Spotify. As well as legacy planning a resource library a YouTube channel for conversations around signing holistic legacies. She domiciles in Beverly Hills, California USA with her husband Daryl and the English bulldog Darla. She was trained as a co-active training coach in 2014 and as a US-based advisor with Americans welcome Switzerland. Welcome back to the infinite life podcast with Katische Haberfield this week we have the lovely Angelina Carleton coming from America. Angelina, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much. It's my pleasure to be here, Katische. Angelina is a fellow podcaster and she has an amazing YouTube channel, which is all about your legacy. And it is a resource collection of the most amazing interviews you will find about the topic of legacy. And one of the things that I noticed and have been noticing when I sit down and watch Angelina's interviews which are similar in length to the interviews on this channel, on this podcast. Because they're not the short ones, they're nice, long, one hour or a little bit more interviews, so they go in depth, is that how, despite the fact that my podcast is a so called spiritual podcast, and Angelina's is a holistic legacy podcast, we're basically talking about the same thing in different language. And so what prompted me to say was, okay, I've been doing a series at the moment about midlife, be that, that you define it as your 40s, 50s, 60s, whatever it is. And there are many things that happen in midlife. We question where we've been, where we're going to. What we do for the world, career wise, what our contribution has been to date, and when we return home to the light, or heaven, or whatever you want to call it in your tradition, how will people remember us, and how do we want to be remembered? And that for me opened a can of worms. And so I thought who better to ask about how does one even start to process those thoughts about what is legacy? What is my legacy? How do I even approach the topic? What's an expert? And that's you, Angelina. Wonderful. So I guess the first question I have for you is what is legacy planning? And how did you get into it professionally? Sure. Sure. First of all, I want to start off by sharing the, thank you for the acknowledgement about my podcast. I did start it a couple of years ago, but I started my coaching and consulting practice about a decade ago in 2014. And at that time, nobody was talking about legacy. Perhaps the estate planners or the certified public accountants, but it wasn't in the public consciousness as it is much as it is as much today. I posted recently on Facebook and LinkedIn that my podcast is now in the top 5%, whether that's in society and culture or overall. So there's been more of an interest in it. I don't know if that's because of COVID or the other inciting events in people's lives that now have people thinking about this topic. I got into it originally this was a story and I've shared it a couple of times and I'm just going to be raw and authentic compared to sugarcoating. It was, I had a prior career as a commercial real estate broker, so I think of the year was 2011 or 12 and I was invited to a six plated private luncheon. It was in Bel Air on West Sunset Boulevard in West Los Angeles, and the topic was private prisons, and it hadn't dawned on me that is a product type, like multifamily apartments, like hospitality hotels. So I'm looking at this PowerPoint presentation, because if anyone has been in business, you've sat through many a PowerPoint presentation, and I'm looking to the left and my right, and I'm thinking, okay what if I don't want my legacy to be based off of the suffering and misery of other people, there can be stocks and bonds and a bunch of different financial vehicles in terms of the quality of one's life purpose, their connection, their meaning, what do they step on other people's backs? And again, I'm looking to my left and my right and I'm thinking, Oh, I'm going to go onto the internet and I'm sure I can find a coaching consultant that can help me design a legacy. And what I found instead are coaches that could help somebody design a business plan, lose weight, stop smoking, double their income. But there was like nobody when it came to this idea of, Creating an intentional life. It's also known as life planning, but again, life planning is segregated into this world of financial planning. And so it's again, it's a very small niche conversation, but it hadn't reached the public consciousness. So I think that the reason I started, was because I didn't see a void being filled out there. So I, thought about it again in like the year 2013. How can I you know, you talk about midlife and doing an about faith in about face. So in 2013, I would have been 33 years old. I'm 44 now. And so at that time I thought, okay what do I do? I can't just jump into another industry. I got to go back to school. How do I figure that out? So anyways, I sold enough commercial real estate that I was able to do all of the education that the co active training Institute offered and found mentors. And I just started with workshops and retreats and finding the family offices and the individuals that are interested in this topic, and does it help to have wealth? Yes, but having said that, two thirds of today's affluent are self made. It's not as if somebody just has to be Rich in order to design the legacy. Not at all. They can choose to be a small business owner. They can choose to be a part of a family business. They can choose to be middle class and to still say with the resources that I have, including emotional resources, maybe I want to end some generational curses, maybe I want to clean up my past lives to finally be free and live into my value. So one of the questions you had shared with me in our preamble was where does somebody start? And I always say, let's start with your values. That's a hard one, too. It's quite an emotional topic, isn't it? When for me, you can see straight away. As soon as I start talking about it, you get emotional. You're like, how do you define your values? Because you can do it with a book you can go buy something, download a resource and do it yourself. And you're like, I'm not sure if I've got it. And I think it's it's not until it makes you cry or it makes you get passionate that you've got your values, is it? Yeah, absolutely. I think it needs to be a conversation. I think that there's a lot of, PDFs. They call it what do they call it these days? It's like you get a landing page and then you give the informational PDF and all. That's great. But there's something to be said about a human conversation on a consistent, regular basis, whether that's in the context of a family meeting, whether that's a weekly coaching session, because you're right. When we talk about legacy if it's just simply ego, which it does happen in certain stratas of society, because there's different rules in every level of society, but if it's just that I bought a sports team or I bought another sports team, it's got to be deeper than that because that alone is empty. And so I think when we talk about values, it's again, yeah, it's how do you define your value? So if you even get it down to three or four, that's amazing. Now, here's where it gets emotional. Is if you have the opportunity to lean in and develop them every week, Oh, life gets rich then it's not just am I racing to my death? Or am I is it just another day? Oh, no. When you start to develop your values and lean into them. Oh my gosh, that's like a bittersweet, holy cow. I checked that off my list of goals this week and those goals are like passionate. And I think probably what you might experience, I'm only guessing is that we can get to the point and we're like, my value is mine or they my mom's, are they my husband's? Yes. Yeah. And that's a part of the peeling the onion process. I think that is a part of the discovery process. And just like on your podcast, you peel the onion to discover past lives and past life regression. I think that when somebody looks at their own life, how much of their identity is their own compared to their parents, and then to pull that apart and to say, okay, this is the identity that I'm stepping into that, that again, that's, that gets exciting because it's theirs. And there is something that's, Very linked between legacy and one's identity that is and so even from a spiritual perspective, like if you talk about business owners and one of the things they say is, okay now I've sold my business for millions. Now what? One of the things you talk about is the spiritual aspect. Who are we in God? Who are we in the angels or whatever somebody deems to be their context for spirituality. And I think it's the same thing when you discover your own values separate from your parents. It's like all of a sudden it's like life becomes refreshing again. Like, this is mine if you talk about personal agency, it's like when it's yours, Oh it's, good. Yeah, and I think that, it must be empowering, especially if you think that it can redefine which way you go. You might think you might be done with business life, but you create a, you finally find a value. And then suddenly you're like, Oh, hang on. I want to start something totally new that I never expected. Or, you know, it could open up a whole new businesses, new charities, new avenues. I'm sure you've seen lots of examples of that where people just suddenly get that fire and they're like, I didn't expect to do this. Yeah, absolutely. I think anytime somebody, and I'm going to want to ask you about your values in a moment, even though you told them to me I think about two years ago, but I don't have that video fresh in front of me. I think that when somebody does get to lean into any of their values that they didn't have an opportunity to lean into before. Yeah. Life gets very fun and interesting. And, again, it's can we talk about personal agency when we are growing up there's like a school structure that keeps us accountable. When we, get older and you're talking about midlife, whether somebody sells their company or they do a pivot in their career, where's that personal agency? There's no teacher with a ruler that's about ready to smack your hands to say you gotta be disciplined, here's the framework and the structure that gets lost. And so I'm going to plug coaching right now. I think that is the power of coaching it. When somebody shows up once a week and they're held accountable what's, next for you? Like, where are you now? Yeah. Like, where are you now? Yeah, we feel now. Exactly. And I think the, other example for people who are listening here and they're like, I've just been doing family caring, for example, and they put the word just in there. Yeah. Your kids are left home. Boom, that's actually a really big time for women to go, my kids have left home. Who am I as an identity? I've done what I valued, which was family. Maybe that was their number one authentic value family. And now that those precious jewels have gone on and gone to university or in their own life, I need to see What I want to do with those values and what I want to create now, because you're in your creative time, right? You've moved from the nurturer to the middle life for women is about creativity. So yeah, it's about saying legacy starts from now if you're somebody who's at that stage as well. Yeah, absolutely. And for yourself in the mother capacity, I don't have Children. So I can speak to this for you. That I think that in a world today that can feel sometimes ruthless as well as stressful to be able to what I call distill still the best of the last 18 years with your children. That's priceless. That's bigger than a gratitude journal. I don't mean to sound morbid, but I'm going to be morbid for a moment. Let's say tomorrow you disappear. Let's say tomorrow you have a heart attack, God forbid. Okay. It's doing the, the investment now. Even just starting with the top 50 best memories that you've shared with them in the last 18 years, that's even written down for them. That's something that they can treasure. I think I've shared in prior podcasts I had a great grandfather about a century ago. Herbert Carleton on my father's side on the paternal side. And he was very successful during the great depression. He drove multiple cars, had multiple Cadillacs, multiple homes. He had a maid on and on. He sent my grandfather, Richard Carleton to Harvard for his PhD. Why didn't he write anything down for me? I'm not saying that just because he did well in business that why didn't his wife write anything down? But there was something that was missing. So something as simple as a list of 50 things can be something that's treasured a century from now. But part of it is that people don't think that is important. It's like when I interviewed my parents during COVID for a 10 or 11 hours, each an hour a day for each conversation, that was one of the best conversations happened. Yeah. So I think that this idea of roots and the best of our roots of what's meaningful, Needs to be distilled. And again, a lot of times people think, Hey, it's not important or what I have to say, isn't good enough. And it's gold. Speaking to what you had mentioned right now, you're in a pivotal life point where you're midlife and you have an invitation to reinvent yourself. I think designing a legacy is also incredibly important because you now have the space and the freedom to say, okay, these are, let's say my top four values, and this is the point where I'd like to ask you, what do you think they are? Authenticity has to be my number one. Yeah authenticity has, it's what I would call a soul value when I've gone back through past lives, it's been the thing that has been something intolerable where. My ability to express or be perceived has not been received, or I have surrounded myself with people who didn't see the true me so I can see that in other lifetimes and in this lifetime too. I don't tend to Be able to able stomach inauthentic people, , if and people are like, yeah, you are raw and real. You get what don't you? And I'm like, yeah, there's not really much of a mask there,. Yeah. You, know where you stand with me. And very rarely do I put on a mask to, to show a different side of me. So yes, authenticity, I'd have to say is a soul level thing. In this lifetime, family values, family has been my number one priority. And that was also for a reason because in other lifetimes, I have not been family orientated at all. So I think this, time, it was particularly healing for me to, to, be who I have been to heal that part of myself. Whereas in other lifetimes, I have been rather ruthless when it came to family. Hey, so I'm here. I'm here in family. Authenticity. I'm also hearing healing. Yeah. Yes. Obviously healing. Yeah. Healing. Yeah. I never thought of that as a value to be honest. Yeah. But yeah, healing. Okay. Anything else? My brain just said trust. Yeah, I would say trust is a word there. Yeah. Trusting what's real or what would you add? I, think it would be trust in trusting yourself, trusting your intuition, trusting your guidance, but then also trusting yourself, which links back to the authenticity in the knowledge of who to surround yourself in, who to seek advice from, who to have relationships with, So many levels of trust that you need, but I think probably right now for me, Pivotally has been trusting intuition and, Inner guidance, and relationship with the spirit world, because that's a really difficult thing to trust. It's a process. Yeah, it's yes, it's the, theme probably, if you ask me, If we could fast forward to the end of my life, it would probably be making the invisible visible. Okay. Oh, I like that. Yeah. And that obviously works with healing is invisible but it's visible outcomes. All the ghost work that I've done is making ghosts, which are human beings who are invisible. Visible by sending them to the light working with emotions. Emotions are invisible, but they're visible. Yeah, I think it's, yeah, bringing that from underneath to the light. Yeah We can't see the wind, but we can see the effects of the wind. That's right. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I, one of the things I think when somebody is designing a legacy, it's not just passing on the values as clearly intentional and consistently, but I think it's also like what you just spoke of it. If you're able to let's say if you create a chart. And it's you have four boxes and box one is family. Box two is authenticity. Let's say box three is healing. And then box four is trusting yourself, your guidance, your intuition. And you ask yourself each day let's say as a part of your morning routine, how can I lean into these further? What opportunities present themselves or could present themselves? Let's say for healing, you would like to swim with dolphins and let's say it's, within your budget to do it. And then taking that leap of faith. To do it. Yeah. Yeah. And then that's very satisfying. Isn't it? Yeah. And you can do that. Yeah. That's fine. That's where midlife becomes not boring. That's where midlife becomes fulfilling. Yes, and I think there's a lot of people who do get scared by the previous couple of generations definition of midlife because they don't want to be the knitting socks. Granny watching the TV with the budget. That can only be a cup of tea and a biscuit. Do you know what I mean? They don't want to be the retirement home dwellers. They, don't want to turn off their brain at 50 or 60. They want to have adventures and tap into their own inner wisdom. Yeah. Yeah. I think what you're referring to is the courage to step outside of one's comfort zone. Yeah. So either it can come from a place of frustration or it can come from a place of inspiration and inspiration. And sometimes it comes from frustration and that's okay. Sometimes it comes from a place of pain of I just spent the last 20 years doing what my parents wanted me to do in the career of blah, blah, blah, and raising children. And that was wonderful. But now I'd like to finally live my life. Like it can come from a place of pain as the, what I call the inciting event. Like it, it might not be a car accident. It might not, but it could be something like okay, I've just lived a life of silent desperation the last 20 years. Whatever that thing is. And so it can come from a variety of different motivations. The other thing I wanted to mention is that sometimes people can invest in parts of their lives. Like it could be their health, their diet, their exercise, getting an exercise coach. It could be money. They could find somebody that could be there. Their bookkeeper, somebody that is their tax planner, their financial planner, et cetera. It could be relationships they can. Again, set aside time to buy books, but then when it comes to the legacy, either what motivates them is that there is a generational family of wealth and they don't want to quote, screw it up because the second and third generation don't have the discipline and the habits and the state of mind to carry it for teacups to teacups and so forth. Or it can be that they realize their legacy is really important. A lot of times people have limiting beliefs around their legacy. Who am I design a legacy? Who am I to value my life so much to swim with the dolphins, or they can say, like you had brought it up before, like with parents and grandparents then I'm the first of my generations to design a legacy. My parents never talked about this at the kitchen table, the dining room table, the holiday meals. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah, I think for me, somebody who's really inspiring is Louise. Hey she just create her legacy until 60. You know what I mean? I find it really. Yeah, you have to, I found it very inspiring when somebody who, just is going through life and then something happens. And then from that moment forward, they're like, I'm going to do this. I'm not gonna let age hold me back. I'm going to create something totally different. And then you see the product because you're 20 or 30 years behind them and you're like, wow, look at what they produced. And It's like authors who write 80 books like Dr. Wayne Dyer or anybody that you can think of that is a prolific writer and you're like, they're on fire. The rest of us humans might write one book in our lifetime. And it was a struggle to do that, but they've found that spark and then they can't stop. Yeah. I think when they, when somebody rides the wave of, the momentum, whether the momentum is external or internal. And I do want to bring up Louise Hay for a moment. You can change your life and the other titles and so forth. I think that when somebody gets older, especially midlife, like I'm 44 now, I don't know what your age is. I think that the asset of time. It just dawns on you. Okay, half of it's done. If I have a conversation and I just had a conversation today with a 21 year old and he takes his life for granted, he takes time for granted, but time is one of those things that you can't get back. So whether it's Dr. Wayne Dyer or Louise Hay when somebody realizes, shoot, I've got this wisdom because I've had a few trials in my life, I'm going to do something with this. And they're ready for it. Like I think with design and legacy, there's two prerequisites. Number one, you have to want it. And number two, you have to be ready for it. Yeah. And I think a 21 year old can be ready. It depends on what their life experiences are. If they've been coddled by their parents and they haven't lived life yet, I don't know what type of legacy they are going to design. It might be theoretical. Where there's a will or an internal fire, there's a way, but if they are apathetic and they have little responsibility in their life, they might not care about designing the legacy. But if I go back to our preamble regarding being in the middle of one's life, I think somebody has a little bit of a consciousness regarding the asset of time. Yeah, absolutely. And to answer your question 49. Okay. Christmas. I'm 49 to 48 right now. 49 Christmas. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, exactly. It's the, the big five. Oh, I think for anyone that hits the big five. Oh, it's yeah I also had, if there's been an inciting event in someone's life let's say somebody got into a car accident or they got arrested or they went into the hospital for whatever reason. And there was a window of time. Whether that's five days or whatever that window is. And they start to think about, okay if I disappear, who's going to care. And some people that matters, other people, it doesn't matter, but I think that's a very sobering realization of. Will I leave something behind? Do I care to leave something behind? Some people are just going to be followers in their life. Not everybody wants to design a legacy, but those who do typically are entrepreneurs or they have something that they feel good about in their life. Like they've created a business. They've again, they've they're connected to resources where they're not necessarily in just survival mode, where they've got that space to create, or they want to create. And I was just thinking, Mike, I've got one student. One son who's in grade 12 this year. So he's off to university next year. And how fabulous would it be if, instead of just racing them through these degrees to become lawyers or whatever, that there was like a subject where they're like, let's talk about how at the start of your studies, you can think about your vision for your life. That would be cool. Wouldn't it? Cause then you're not flustering around with your degree. You're like, sure. No, you might have a design that you want to be a lawyer or whatever, but it's such a broad thing. And to sit down. To have a child at a university or something that goes, let's start that framework so that we don't have to do it today. But we can start thinking whilst we're planning this grand career. I think that would be amazing as well. Yeah. Yeah, I think 1 of the things that happens, though, is that public as well as private universities oftentimes make great employees. They don't necessarily have the goal of Yeah. Yeah. So I think that conversation either happens at home or it happens with positive role models or it happens with a really good coach. So I want to bring up the expression and you may have heard this when it comes to money. Nobody cares more about your money than you do. And I'm going to say nobody cares more about your legacy than you do. Yeah for sure. And there was one that one thing that I, mentioned to you prior to the podcast. It's this whole thing of two of navigating your life so that you can understand that when you do get to the end, a legacy You will leave a legacy, regardless of whether you've planned it or not, in the way that you've acted, the way that you have treated people, the way that you've worked out your financials and your estate, the way whether you have or not and that what you craft of yourself will also potentially be different to what the world remembers you as and the way that your family remembers you. Yeah, one of the things that we chatted about over Facebook in the preamble to today's conversation, he had brought up Marilyn Monroe, and there's a public as well as a private persona. And not just with herself, as you had mentioned, this blonde bombshell, a kind of a sex symbol of Hollywood as an icon, but then privately her interest in helping children. You also brought up an actor, Matthew Perry of the hit show friends. And I think that when somebody either comes across celebrity or wealth, there's like the front side of the hand and then there's the backside of the hand. And I think all of us have that to a certain extent, but obviously with the more resources or success or money, success and money, like failure are magnifiers. And so when somebody has again exponential resources and they're thrust into a limelight, whether that's why they're choosing or not by their choosing, I think you had brought up this question of how much influence or how much control do we have over it? And here's my answer. I think that as much as you're willing to show up every week and develop your values. Because at least Marilyn Monroe did the efforts to help children. At least Matthew Perry did what he did to help those that struggled with substance abuse. But if he had never shown up, he would have just been the depth of a tea plate saucer. I hate to be so There's some, there's some celebrities that they don't care about giving back. They don't care about service to others or the struggle of the human experience. And so if I even go back to thinking about Marilyn Monroe, she probably created from a place of pain. She was an orphan. She was, she had experienced a number of handlers. She even herself was fed drugs. I wasn't there to verify it three times, but we've seen. Some of the movies and the documentaries of how she was treated because she was a moneymaker. She was a vessel just like Britney Spears is managed today with being a ward of the court and her dad and all the people that are around her. So even if I bring up somebody like Britney Spears what will her legacy be? I think when that individual, when it comes to their personal development can step into no matter their struggles in life, Britney Spears, just like Marilyn Monroe, they've suffered, and I can bring that up for even women, regardless of the decade or the country, women are still second class citizen in citizens in a lot of ways. Is that changing today because there's now more of an appreciation of the feminine? Yes, because there's an imbalance in the world. I don't wanna say that since Queen Elizabeth passed on, that there's an excess of male energy, but I think. The feminine is starting to have value in a patriarchal society. So going back to Marilyn Monroe or even Britney Spears, I think that if Britney Spears, if I were to sit down and help her design a legacy, it's Britney, what are your values separate from the loud influence of your handlers or the fans. And I think even with Katy Perry had a breakdown. Katy Perry is a singer. Where she had said, Oh, they just love me for my facade. She's not the only person that has a facade. There's executives that have a facade. There's you spoke about authenticity before some people, whether it's through trauma in like the mind becomes like a beehive of personalities. And it might not be as extreme as multiple personality disorder. It's just, maybe they've been such a people pleaser their entire lives that now design and legacy is that invitation for them to be authentic. And that could be the scariest thing they've ever done in their life. But they're staking it down. It'd be interesting to see what happens Taylor Swift's legacy, for example, most successful business person, singer ever, practically. And, I guess with somebody like a Taylor Swift of the world when you get to having that much impact on people, literally your lip gloss influences purchases and, your, anything that you say, You have to be so careful, but you've also got access to so much money, it's you have to go back to your values, don't you? Where do I want to use this? Yes and I will say regarding Taylor Swift, there's been a lot of wins that have tried to knock her down and knock her out, whether it's her standing up to Apple Music lawsuits that she has faced. Yes, there's a lot of little girls and women of all ages that are inspired by her, and I don't know if she is the reincarnation of Beethoven, because like Beethoven, he would hear a melody in his head. And similar with Taylor Swift, she could be alone and she gets a gist of something you talk about trusting your intuition, like rhythms and melodies in her head and similar with Janet Jackson who carries around the tape recorder. And when that comes, that download from the universe, they capture that. Yes, I think if somebody like Taylor Swift leans into her values, then that becomes a force stronger than the outside bullies of Kanye West ripping that award from her hands publicly on a stage and all of the ex boyfriends that have talked smack about her, even if she's written songs about them. Yep. It's also that, which you must also deal with as well, is working through to see that sometimes, what if what you've already done is a legacy so great that you can't see it, that you don't need to, you need to learn to appreciate yourself and what you've done. For example, the Taylor Swift with the Apple music, for example, is a legacy in itself. And, sometimes we put these standards way so high that we, our legacy might be being kind to ourselves for the next 10 years in our life to just not drive so hard to do an external another thing in your legacy, but to, have a legacy of self kindness is the next chapter. Sure. Absolutely. And I might go back to values and say that embodying your values. Yes. Yes. Yeah, It's such a meaty topic. It is because we live in this culture where it's counter cultural to live into our values. It, the norm would be, I'm going to give in, the norm would be, I'm going to follow the crowd. The norm would be, okay, Apple music you just want to take 75 percent of my, intellectual property. I'll just roll over. I'll be demure, supportive and help. Helpful. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. So I think to, say to oneself and they, when one looks in the mirror and say to say my values and I am valuable enough to live into my values. Mic drop. One of the things I wrote down for today's conversation is also defining the stakes and the stakes could be regrets on the final day. It could be those missed conversation, missed moments, missed goals, and also being able to manifest and document the here and the now, like we spoke briefly about the last 18 years with your children, writing that list of the 50 best moments. Maybe it was at Bondi beach in Australia. I don't know if you've been to Bondi beach. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. It's in a different state, but yes, I used to live in Sydney, okay. I know James Packer went there. There's another famous Australia with an interesting, I anyway, keep going. Yeah. Family business. Yeah. Standing up to his mother. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So again, when you had raised the question of, are they my values or my parents values? If I were to sit down with James Packer, I would say time to develop you. Yeah, clear. Very clear. It's easy to see this when you're the onlookers in it, but it's really hard to have the courage to look at yourself the same way that you could look at an onlooker as an onlooker at somebody else. Yeah. This is where I'm going to plug the power of coaching again, that sometimes it's hard for us to step out of the movie and into the audience is a Indra Rinzler would say, and I think the power of coaching, if one is not just surrounded by yes, people at any income level in society, then those are the truth tellers. I think that it's not just James Packer. It's, there are many instances where there could be a helicopter parent and there's an expression don't kneecap the children about kneecapping them. I think that it's to, to live fully. And not to just be within one's comfort zone. And I think even with James Packer, like many family businesses or generational families there is this fear of if you F it up, right? Yeah. Look imagine what it'd be like for Prince William or even Charles. You're like, how about Harry? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So when you even talked about this idea of okay what if up to a certain point, the past has been a legacy, I will agree with you regarding like somebody like Taylor Swift. But I think there's also something in the human soul that wants to grow and evolve. And we're a different person, perhaps in each decade as we grow. Yeah. So I think one of the things like when you talked before about okay how does somebody design a legacy? I think part of it is short term goals. The other part is long term goals. The short term goals is okay I need to establish the foundation right now. But long term goals is survival aside, what is the big dream? What is the noble vision? What are the not just noble values, but then what is that noble vision that exceeds my expectations of what's possible? Yeah. And I think what you spoke to a few minutes ago about that, that what are the stakes? Oh, defining the stakes. Could you speak a bit more into that? Yeah. Yeah. I also call that agitating the problem. That's a good visual. Yeah. I think defining the stakes again if we look at assets, aren't just money. There's an asset of time. There's an asset of the potential. I think a part of coaching is selling potential to a client. And that potential is there is a dream. You have a vision, you have of what you'd like. And sometimes people know, sometimes they might not know. And you have to gently, I'm going to use a metaphor again of peeling the onion, because sometimes they might be afraid to say what that dream is. Just like they could be afraid to state what their basic needs are, because at some point in the past, they got ridiculed for speaking their needs, whether that's an emotional need, a physical need or whatever. Maybe they were shamed in the past and shut down. So something as simple as inviting somebody to. Share what they would like their legacy to be. I think again, if I go back to defining the stakes, what gets lost, if you don't get to live into that or manifest this, it manifests that in this life. You've done oppression work and past lives then do you just come back again? You messed up that last opportunity we're back here again. Yeah. And the answer is yes. What you regret when you die is what creates your limiting beliefs and creates your urge to come back and re fix it when actually there's no requirement to you, because it's all just the mind limiting beliefs and karma is just the mind. So yes, the number one thing that. I guess I hope that my podcast leaves as a legacy is that people can see these people revisiting. grief and their regrets so that they understand the importance of not doing that themselves, that it's, unnecessary to finish your life with just a huge clipboard of regrets. Yeah, absolutely. I think when it comes to regrets, I think a lot of that is just fear based and is fear real? Absolutely. But there's also a point where, okay, fear when today. And that's a personal choice each morning. Cause again, somebody has to be ready. I have a cousin, Carl a noble across the pond. He's in England. He's a high level Knights Templar. And he says, said to me regarding judgment day, the question that will be asked is, did you do what you were supposed to do in this lifetime? It's not necessarily, were you a nice person? Yes, karma does exist, but it's a is it that you did what you needed to do? Did you do what was expected of you? I don't know what that is for you or for me. I just know that question is going to be brought up. And apparently. 70 or 80 percent plus at the time. People get shot right back into another life because they don't get to go to the next level of the video game. Yeah. And that is, set of expectations that, can be eased by understanding that your mind creates your reality and your karma. It's you don't have to have this whole thing where you create karma and go back around and keep going. Taking the opposite roles or to learn, it's just you who self punishing yourself by saying, all right, I need to go back and fix that. Yeah. And sometimes what we are born into, sometimes we're given the head start. Other times we are born into situations and there is a lot to work through and that baggage might not be ours. It's when somebody gives us a gift, do we accept it? Because sometimes it might not be a gift. I bring that up because there's a movie called the source code and there's a gentleman, he's an army officer and he asked to go into Chicago and save the train and that's the entire movie. He just keeps getting shot back in about like 15 times till he gets it right. And I, just, I bring that up because of this idea of backwards planning. Yeah. Sometimes you might not know and you have to develop your sea legs, but in terms of backwards planning, I think even if we just write it an obituary, it doesn't have to be a grim Scary, dark thing. And even legacy. com is a catalog of death. It doesn't have to be that in terms of if we think about okay, so you're midlife right now, 49 about to turn 49, 48 at the moment. But if you were to do backwards planning and let's say you, you guess that you'll live to 75, I don't know, I'm making up a number. Maybe you'll live to 85, but it's writing that obituary of things. These are the next things I'd like to do. Whether that's, creating a university, you had been a professor at one time, maybe you'll create an online university after swimming with the dolphins. I don't know. Who knows? Who knows? The other thing is, I think that when somebody designs a legacy, I think it's important to revisit it for five minutes each morning or each evening, how we go to sleep oftentimes determines how we wake up the next day in terms of mindset. Or if somebody can be a morning person to look at their short and their long term goals, their mission statement, their legacy vision for just five minutes each morning, just to check in with it so they don't forget. So they don't go back to what's called the land of familiar, which comes from a coach by the name of Franco Lombardo. Yeah. Okay. That's, great advice. And it's often the simplest things that we just get swept away, don't we? Yeah I'll settle. That's the land of familiar. Angelina, there's so much that we could talk about if there's any one last sort of thing that you could leave as a thought or a prompt and then we'll wrap it up. Yeah, absolutely. I would say design your plan. It'll make you feel really proud. I think in terms of a call to action, just choose to take the first steps. Whatever that looks like for you, whether that's retaining a coach, whether that is just writing down some short and long term goals for you, that list of 50 best memories with your children in the last 18 years. And I think from an emotional standpoint, I think it's choosing to care because it's easier to be apathetic. Yes, it is very easy to be apathetic. We were just, yeah, leaning to, it's the challenge to just move away from the busyness and yeah, take a breath and think about you. But when we see a child prodigy go up to a piano and they make that piano sing of something that they can make they can turn something ordinary into the extraordinary. I think the same thing can happen when one designs their legacy. And some people, I didn't know all that was in there. It was whether that was Marilyn Monroe or Matthew Perry, or even Taylor Swift. And it's not just the famous and the rich it's again, two thirds of days affluent are self made. It was a hunger inside of them, either because their parents couldn't afford to put food on the table or they just came they saw a void in the marketplace, but there was some, something inside of them that fueled them. And so I don't know what it is for you, Katish, but I'd love to have you send me an email in one week and let me know if you were the 50 things. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Good challenge. Good challenge. Thank you so much. It's a provided a lot of food for thought. And the beautiful thing about is that you have signed a YouTube channel that has got so many resources that people can simply take the first step just to watch one of your. Podcast videos. And I know that there's one there about which I haven't watched yet, which was literally about. Memories and leaving a legacy of memories for your family and the importance of just of that one aspect. And then they can reach out to you on your website. Yeah, absolutely. They can absolutely book a session, but I think I just want to close out by sharing that. I think you're talking about Holly. She's in Los Angeles. I think it's again, I go to this idea of roots when the next generation is coming up and they feel lost in this world, they can just know the best parts of their, I, their history, their heritage, whatever that thing is, that is one of the best investments more than just a college fund or a a CD or a financial portfolio. It's this is who you are and you are valuable. Yeah. Beautiful. That's a lovely way to end it. Yes. Thank you, Angelina, for your time today. I really appreciate it. Thanks for coming on the podcast. It is my pleasure. And I hope that you continue to make the invisible visible. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm.